In Utter Agony...Long 1st Post

[eternaloptimist]

Sorry, Burt, don't mean to drive you away. I do appreciate your comments and the constructive criticism, realizing that I'm in an extremely vulnerable place right now. Yeah, I am *big time* venting b/c I only found out about the EA 2 weeks ago! I need to process all of this to get beyond it. This has been a double-betrayal b/c the EA was with his therapist. I try to operate on a higher plane when it comes to integrity and honor and all of this makes me so sick to my stomach. I used to think my husband was on that higher plane with me, now I'm not so sure.

Thanks for the reality check too. Could you elaborate on the things YOU think I need to work on from a guy's perspective, besides the emotional outbursts? I'm going to be calm on Wednesday and VALIDATE, VALIDATE, VALIDATE. That seems to work really well, so I'll continue to do it. No cheeseless tunnel there. I have got to stop thinking about him all the time, worrying about him, and monitoring his computer use b/c it only keeps me in that emotional, chaotic place that he has been in for several years. Thanks for your support. I do value it.