Nicely put PDT. Actions ALWAYS speak louder then words. Remember she doesnt RESPECT you. You dont CHEAT on people you RESPECT. You NEED to get back that RESPECT by STANDING UP for YOU and your DAUGHTER.
Have you read Love and Respect? It is a great book and has helped me out a lot.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
AWESOME book! Our MC gave us this book (on tape). Lots of "Aha!" moments in there. I would put it right up there with Passionate Marriage, DB/DR, Five Love Languages, and Mars and Venus.
I still need to read Passionate Marriage and Mars and Venus. I have left Love and Respect right out on the coffee table here at the house the past couple of days--I am on my second time through it. Wonder if DH will notice and comment? I am tired of hiding my books in the bedroom when he is here.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
I said, we can't take this hot and cold crap any more.
But you're showing her by your actions (or, more accurately, your IN-action), that you can. This supplication is what she "hears," not your words.
When you're truly ready to show that you and your daughter won't take this anymore, you will make your moves.
Puppy
Dammit!!!! I absolutely hate it when you're right! Ugh, this is going to be hard to do because it will tell the tale very quickly once I go this route.
M-41 ex-W-40 Together--17 years SS-20 D-14 Bomb--2 Feb 09 WAW--6 Feb 09 Officially divorced on 2 Jun 2010!!! ex-W has a boyfriend 8 Jun 2010!!! Off we go into the wild blue yonder!!!!
"Dammit!!!! I absolutely hate it when you're right! Ugh, this is going to be hard to do because it will tell the tale very quickly once I go this route."
Just remember it wasn't YOUR CHOICE it was HERS. You DONT NEED anymore GUILT in YOUR LIFE.
I know it was her choice. Well, it's been two days and I've only had about 30 seconds with her on the phone. She's only talked to my daughter for about 6-7 minutes in the past two days so I guess I shouldn't feel bad but I am angry. So, as it's been said many times many ways, I'm backing off equal distance or more. I wonder if she's backing off to gather the courage to file the divorce paperwork as it seems everytime she has contact w/ me she flipflops. I thought the heartache was gone but I started feeling it again last night.
M-41 ex-W-40 Together--17 years SS-20 D-14 Bomb--2 Feb 09 WAW--6 Feb 09 Officially divorced on 2 Jun 2010!!! ex-W has a boyfriend 8 Jun 2010!!! Off we go into the wild blue yonder!!!!
John, The heartache will come and go for a very long time no matter what you decide to do...you will feel better once you take control of your own destiny and do something. As long as she is involved in the affair, and she is, it is best that you have no relationship with her...until the affair is over you are a constant reminder to her of what is good and right in life.
So, I got a call from the wife last night and we talked for about 15 minutes. I didn't ask for justification of why she's not calling but apparently she felt obligated to give one. She claimed she's been working late and has been too busy to call. Yeah, ok. She called my daughter later on and talked for about 20 minutes. My daughter came to me afterwords and started crying saying her mom was mean, etc. I asked what she said. She said a bunch of stuff to include her asking the wife if she still had a boyfriend and the wife denying she ever said that and then picking apart my daughter's life and basically blaming everyone else for how things are to include pointing out to my daughter that I'm too sensitive. I did my best to calm my daughter down and made sure she knew that this was not her fault and that whatever her mom was going through was her problem and not ours. She seem satisfied but is talking more and more about wanting to go to boarding school.
M-41 ex-W-40 Together--17 years SS-20 D-14 Bomb--2 Feb 09 WAW--6 Feb 09 Officially divorced on 2 Jun 2010!!! ex-W has a boyfriend 8 Jun 2010!!! Off we go into the wild blue yonder!!!!
