I like your forum idea... or... "Or dumb F*cks, on their way to FABULOUS!?"
I'm going to keep following you. I read a lot of your threads (WOW). If I were to get to #64, I'd either be found hung, drunk stupid, or with a hot, new, young boyfriend on the side! Again, you are a great example of patience.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
If I were to get to #64, I'd either be found hung, drunk stupid, or with a hot, new, young boyfriend on the side! Again, you are a great example of patience.
OK thanks. That sure made me feel good about myself K
Mike, for the most part, I am getting "me," with a BUT attached... (literally, LOL) I may be on my way to being happy with myself, BUT my marital JOY is gone. We used to have a ton of that. That was part of "me"!
I'm glad about the cord, too. Good thing I'm a clutz!
Weight... For me, it's not that I think I look that bad, but if I don't feel comfortable in what I'm wearing, then I just don't feel right... If half of your closet doesn't fit, it kinda sucks, ya know?
I've read Mars/Venus... however, I read it during distraction... will do again.
One brother (I've heard) became a drug addict, and kind of fled from the family. The other brother did something business-wise to him, purposely... Neither would give in, so neither speak to each other. This same brother doesn't speak to another one of the brothers, either... Odd.
And, now why would you be scared of a little Red Bull? LOL (We buy it all the time... Pretty sure I didn't scare him, as he brought home a case of MONSTER, as well...)
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
I really do understand what you're saying about what men think about women's weights... I think I was 5 lbs up from where I am now when I met my H, dated, and he married me.
It's what the extra weight makes me FEEL like right now that is the problem...
Good question re: self-awareness, and H's cool factor... I'm loyal to a fault, so, I'd probably "just deal." UGH! THAT'S UGLY.
And, FUNNY, what you say about how men treat their mother's. Had that hesitation while we were dating... How does one cut off their communication/love with their family? His M om was dead by the time we met, so I'm not sure of their relationship, but he has a sparkle in his eye when he tells stories of her. Sounds like we were very much alike. He was extremely good to his Dad... not sure it was because his Dad guilted him into being good to him, or true desire to be.
I really appreciate you guys checking in, giving some feedback from a male perspective.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
I may be on my way to being happy with myself, BUT my marital JOY is gone. We used to have a ton of that. That was part of "me"!
all that can come back as long as you are open to it.
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I'm glad about the cord, too. Good thing I'm a clutz!
nah..not a clutz..just "wine buzzed"
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One brother (I've heard) became a drug addict, and kind of fled from the family. The other brother did something business-wise to him, purposely... Neither would give in, so neither speak to each other. This same brother doesn't speak to another one of the brothers, either... Odd.
being a former hard-headed, stubborn azzzhole myself I can see why your husband is like this toward his brothers...I personally think that is a man thing. At some point they will work it all out..but I don't think it's your place to help him until they do...
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And, now why would you be scared of a little Red Bull? LOL
let's see..I'm in love with a lady who has 3 daughters..11,15,18..I can imagine introducing a case of RedBull into their house this month and all of them hitting their monthly cycles at different times.....i'm sure it would be quite exciting..
The 6th grade bonfire was a blast. 110+ people here... Loads of fun.
One little hiccup, but I think I handled it ok. At the end of the evening (About 11:30pm or so) a couple of the families were saying goodbye, and thanking us for having everyone, talked about everyone having a blast, and saying what a nice, and fun couple we are. (By the third time hearing this... MB gets a little misty-eyed. Especially, after one of MB's girlfriends making cute comments about loving our master bedroom, and some kind of cute gf sex comments about my H and I... totally innocent)
So, instead of making a big deal out of things, or going to my H with this sorrow, I just quietly slipped up to our room (H was out on boat house talking to others), and had myself a quiet, short, little cry. H comes looking for me, and I tell him I'll be right there... just using the bathroom. I come out, and I've tried to suck it up, but the eyes are still a little glassy (not bad, though), and he asks what the problem is (he's not exactly sensitive, never has been). I tell him, I'm fine, just got a little misty eyed. No big deal. He pushes me, and I tell him I'm just a little sad, but am moving on (from the mood).
H says OK, and goes back downstairs... He comes back a few minutes later... asks again.. and I tell him, OK, look, I just got a little sad when I was being complimented about what a great couple we are (considering the circumstances). I'm sure you understand... He says, "I guess"... walks out of the room, and immediately turns around, and for 10 minutes starts telling me jokes, talking about a funny event that happened, etc... Then he goes downstairs to deal with the stragglers...
I join them about 15 minutes later. All is well.
We go to bed. He talks my ear off.
This am. Same thing... comes in my office while I'm working, talks my ear off...
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Listen honey, I know how you feel. But to say the mojo is out the window because of A, B, C that H has done then you have to stop leaning on the crutch. This is a lightly padded 2x4.
It sounds like I can't do better because.... -it hurts -I just want it to be all better NOW! -I don't want to do the work -I can't believe I will ever be ok after this -I'm scared
Add whatever reason you can and then throw the list away.
You can do this! There are no guarantees, but this is the only tried and true way for you to have a chance to change or improve things. Why would you not want to give yourself that chance?
Its kind of like being in labor and clamping your legs together refusing to have your baby because its too hard.
It takes one day at a time to grow. You will get stronger and you can lean on us until you can stand on your own.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
