Control Center Technician: Earth calling Bugs Bunny! Earth calling Bugs Bunny! Are you there? Are you there? Come in Bugs Bunny! Over! Bugs Bunny: Bugs Bunny to Earth! Yeah, I'm here! Over! Control Center Technician: Earth calling! Did you arrive safely on the moon? Over! Bugs Bunny: Bugs to Earth! Yeah, I'm on the moon! Over! [Technicians talk among themselves; lead technician shushes them] Control Center Technician: Have you prepared a statement for the press? Bugs Bunny: Well, uh, yes, I have prepared a statement: GET ME OUTTA HERE!
OK...KerryK....take over for the Youtube clip if you can find it. FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Overall....the evening went well except for an initial scare.
First good sign....as I pulled into my parking spot...in massive field parking....my fellow lacrosse coach for D6's team pulled in next to me. A HUGE calming effect. Second good sign, well...our head coach didn't wear his coaching shirt with the team logo on it. He wasn't allowed on the feel, so...I lead our pack of 8 year olds onto the warning track at Citifield..found the 'sweet spot' in front of the camera and had all the boys waving on the big screen.
I arrived at will call, received my envelope WHICH HAD ONLY ONE TICKET IN IT. I spoke with the woman there....the outer envelope said 2 tix on it. I was so upset thinking that they erred and gave me one and I would be separated from my son. They gave me another ticket an ENTIRE SECTION AWAY.
Then....STBXW called on my cell: SHE ASKED FOR MY ENVELOPE AND TOOK S8's TICKET OUT AND PUT MINE BACK. I was infuriated. My lacrosse buddy witnessed this and kept me cool. Later on, I realized that where I told her to meet me (having never been to the field before), would have required her to take S8 in. BUT.....no one gave her permission to ask for my envelope and take his ticket.
DB'ing...I showed her no anger and greeted S8 when I caught up to them.
The rest of the game was uneventful. In fact, STBXW seemed cordial. No doubt because her parents and brother were there. I actually sat in the same section with them, but, on the other side. They despise me so there was no communication.. I drove the kids home.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Kalni...maybe KerryK can find the cartoon so you can watch it and understand the joke.
Continued disbelief. Last night, my STBXW, told me that this Saturday..my only full day with the kids and the day she works all day....that she was going to make an arrangement with someone in her family to pick up the kids to take them to their cousin's BD party.
HUH?????
I left a note this morning to her. Will post later FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
ADD...she refused to let me take them to Citifield and the other day, she refused to let D6 attend a BD party at her assistant lacrosse coach's daughter's house. Now she wants me to cede my day to her. FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
FIB, It's time for you to fully confront this, imo. Call the L, and draw your line in the sand. If not now, when? It is better to set this up and deal with it, asap, than wait and wait for numerous "violations of rules not yet written".
I defer to your L's opinion on this but I ask you, isn't it going to happen sometime anyhow? I mean your w will not "wake up", so I think you're dealing with someone who will continue to take and take and cross the line that to her, is invisible. Her anger is the most important thing to her, not her love for the children and she rationalizes things frighteningly well. So, do what you gotta do. Just my opinion and I'll support whatever you choose to do. But that's my take on it and it is worth AT LEAST a session with your L....seriously, I say pull out all the plugs NOW and put the stake through the vampire's heart so she doesn't keep rising again and again to take yet more.
This is a clear wrong, if you have anything in writing about what your days are. Do you? If not, it's definitely TIME for a written agreement and if you already have one, ENFORCE it and if that means going to court, do so now. Why wait? Why wait?
Just asking b/c maybe there's a reason for it. I just don't know what that reason is. Again, whatever you choose, we're okay.
(( j ))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I stick with the principle to do what is best for the kids. If they want to go to a party arranged by their mom, then I have no problem. My X has been easy to work with and we have both cooperated in the best interest of the kids. I handle the Cub Scouts and Girl Scouts and when one of the events occur on her weekend, she is willing to try and take the kids to it. Sure there are schedule conflicts (like this coming weekend), but we work together to solve them without letting our personal feelings cause a conflict.
Do you feel that your STBXW is wanting to have them attend the cousin's BD party just to spite you or is she doing it because the kids will have a good time?
how will he know? And if he enforces a boundary but then HE CHOOSES to yield on something, isn't it better than her taking and taking?
Just asking...of course the best interests of the kids is paramount but what happened last Saturday was NOT best for s8. FIB "contained the damage" by not going ballistic, but the REAL problem was what W created and was "allowed" to do, and I do see this as a pattern for her...guess I'd feel safer for him if there was SOMETHING in writing to go by, and if there is already then why does she break it inappropriately? She can ASK FIB for a change to the agreement and acknowledge she is asking for something on HIS day...I just don't think she believes he has or will do anything with any real enforceable rights, and my fear is she'll continue to believe that without "correction" so why can't FIB take the kids to a bd party? Oh it is HER family...but she didn't let d5 go to a bday party for a teammate? SHE does not put them first so HE has to do so and play both Mommy and daddy b/c she isn't doing her job of putting the kids first.
Just my take on it of course. And as a mom, I just think she needs a "book" of rules, so she gets that NORMAL women don't ask this way...
(SIGH) (((( j ))))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
25 - I get your point. I think the real problem is that either the lawyers, the LG or the divorce courts of New York failed the kids by not first establishing a firm parenting plan. It would then be up to the parents to negotiate for minor "change of plans", but in the end the legal parenting plan would be the fallback when FIB's W was being unreasonable and too controlling of time with the children.
FIB - I think you need to put the hot iron on your L to get the parenting plan and/or custody resolved. This should be done before division of assets and spousal support. Also, find out from your L how to report the negligence of the LG and how to get a new LG assigned.
As a side story about how anger can drag your life down...my brothers X was found dead in a motel room at a Washington border town this last Friday. She had stolen money from her employer and tried to enter Canada but was turned back. Her ID was found in Canada and her body in the USA. Foul play ala Psycho? What really matters is how she got to her final place - anger and alcohol/drug abuse. Over the years she spawned other kids from different fathers, blamed her problems on my brother and our side of the family, had her son leave as a teen to live with my brother and she seemed to thrive on being angry.
It is a shame that FIB's wife cant be given some shock therapy so as to convince her where her life is headed because of her anger and spite. Maybe the best thing is to play hardball, but that is touchy when you are living in the same house.
Sad sad sad but well said. (SIGH and SIGH some more). Hope you know what I mean when I say I hope she has found some peace...
FIB, Don't know what's exactly right in this sitch. Some guidelines, sure. But "rules" and clarity, are lacking in this for me. I just say get SOMETHING in writing or I cannot see an end to the bickering and weirdness from her. I just don't expect any good to come from her without it being dragged from her and THEN maybe she'll comply, and that is really all we can hope for. Not a lightning bolt or sudden awakening, but mere compliance with rules of fairness and no more crazy stuff or bad mouthing in front of the kids. Sounds so basic, but right now it is THE GOAL...
((( j )))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
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