You are still in shell shock, honey. Its good that you found this place, although it is sad you had to join us at all. You will find people here that will be like family to you.
Understand that this is a long process. It doesn't get easier until you do let go. Basically, the WA's are like smoke. You can't grab them and hold on and hope they stay.
And the detaching is very hard to do. But you can do it 5 minutes at a time, then 10 minutes, then 15, etc.
If you feel a need to cry then have at it. By the time you cry yourself out you will feel pretty calm. Strangely, even after a year you have to just have a good cry once in a while. But, give yourself a time limit, say 15 minutes.
The GAL starts slow, but will help so much. I found the best way to start is to take notice of small things around you. Wildlife, pretty scenery, the smell of coffee, how it feels to have the hairstylist wash your hair. Noticing these small things lets you know you are alive.
If you want lots of people to visit or write to you, then venture onto other people's threads. Even if you don't have any great words to help someone, <<<hugs>>> and a friendly message of support are always appreciated.
I will check back with you. If I don't write a great deal, it will be because I have so many people I am trying to keep track of at this point.
Today is exactly 1 year from the bomb. I never thought I would be able to survive. But I can stand on my own two feet, pay my own bills, look my WAH in the eye and still say I love him. He lives with his parents, but we see each at least once a week.
Do get DR, and read, and then reread. You will find new information every time you read it. I am just going back to it myself. At this point my copy is a bit dog-eared, highlighted, etc and I still see new information.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
