well I have made a ton of mistakes. She has a friend that has dragged her into divorce! This "friend" has been in one for over 2 years and my ex has talk me down to almost everyone, I think partly cause she thought she was loosing me before we split but she was wrong and no one can tell her otherwise. Completely blinded and thinks I am only doing things for me. If that was true I wouldn't want to be with her kids and love them as I do, so far she has had at least 3 failers with OP and one didn't even want to meet the kids!!! All the while knowing that I was a commited stepdad! If thats not enough of a wake up call then what else could be... This was her choise.
Also she does these little feelings checks with me and I will not allow that anymore. I don't think she really cares, and I think she misses me, I am the only one who has ever loved her the way she like to be and maybe fighting that everyday so enough is enough for me, she has let her out of control feelings run everything, I can't save her or the kids at this point she will not have it. I don't know how she will take it but I have not contacted her for anything again for another 2 weeks and have to get out. I think she knows something is comming. Sad thing is I see she has things in our room cards from me notes I have left for her, she doesn't remove them but has them placed around the room!!??!?! She can't be any kind of friend and I wish I could be that in hopes of being the better choise but so far I have proven over and over that I am and she still continues the BS. I won't make a threat I am simply going to leave, I may leave a note explaining that I don't want to see her at all. after I move. The kids have been so hurt by her actions and grabs at anything to place the blame. They will pay the most! I will try and keep them a part but will ony do that through someone else as well. No need for he to know about me anymore, she has not shown that she cares to anyway....
Paul everything you said in this post is great. Its great for YOU... yanno we spend so much TIME fighting for our marriage we forget about our health, our mental WELLBEING, how we ARE, and we can become so depressed and in such a bad place that we end up seriously, seriously in trouble. WHen your in "crisis" mode, which you are when you are "fighting" for the marriage, your only focus is ON fighting - it isnt on your own wellbeing only what you WANT to happen, and you truly think, because of the PAIN, that if this ends and she returns to me and I WIN this, then the PAIN will go away and I will feel better.
The truth is otherwise actually in a lot of the case; once the euphoria passed you would still be left with the damage inflicted upon you and you would still need to deal with that, not bottle it up inside or ignore it, and a big part of you would feel so hurt and mistrustful that you would have a hard time letting it all go.
So decide right now to begin taking care of yourself! as a NUMBER ONE PRIORITY! because guess what - SHE is.
When you're down to nothing, God is up to something.
