First off I think I have supported Maria here and elsewhere for longer than you know. If you are close to her please feel free to ask her. I have always tried to take her husband's point of view in our discussions together. However, for you to tell me what my job is and what I should or should not be saying and furthermore to insinuate that I think like a college kid borders disrespect and reaks of arrogance, my friend. I will stop here because I refuse to stoop to your level. I have never knowingly disrespected anyone here or anywhere else for that matter by reducing myself to calling other people's opinions "bullshit".
In the meantime Ian, why don't you enlighten us on some of the possible reasons why a man who is trying to reconcile (for the last 7 months) with a woman he claims to love can not show his affection physically or otherwise. Continues to ignore his wife's requests. Seemingly cares more about his two jobs than his family. Calls her very seldomly and is not in tune with her financial needs and that of their children? Is that enough "how could he crap" for you? Because I have more.
John, it wasn't meant to come off disrespectful. You asked me a question and I answered it honestly. Read my posts, it's what I do.
I also didn't say you think like a college kid, I said college kids generally have a higher libido than older men. Understand the points I was making and try not to take them so personal.
I also didn't tell you what your job is, I in general told everyone what IMO is needed here. Look at my recent posts to K, I have been pretty steady about people needing to offer her more support. Your relationship with K is what it is. I do not know whether you have supported her or not, what I know is what you wrote in that particular post was not helpful and could cause damage so I merely pointed it out. Constructive criticism can be very hard to take, but it is simply that and nothing more.
By the way, I agree with you. I come off as
Quote:
reaks of arrogance
to a lot of people so I apologize if it came across as crass. I simply have been following K throughout her journey and am a bit protective because I think a lot of people just don't understand what she is dealing with in her own heart and mind.
I think I covered the why he isn't making advances in my initial post. If I could diagnose it down to a simple answer I would be making a boat load more money than I do right now. No one has the answers for MLC.No one understands cleanly what goes on with the spouse when they are lost. What I do understand is there is an underlying issue that prevents him from being affectionate. What i do understand is this is his issue and not Maria's. What i do understand is that men can be in bed with someone, even someone they truly love, and not be affectionate. It happens dude, in fact has to many people on these boards.
I also think you are wrong in saying that he is trying to reconcile. He is stalling for time, has been for a very long time, much longer than 7 months. He's ignored his wife's requests since day 1. Has openly admitted his addiction to his work and how he believes that his work defines him. He has been the same financially throughout as well.
Read back to some of my posts to K, I speak to this a lot. I have asked her if she really believes he can be the spouse she wants or not. I shoot straight with her and keep it real. I acknowledge her efforts are simply because of the kids most of the time.
Read my post again John, look at the core issue that I pointed out. Take some deep breathes and really absorb what I said. If it really doesn't make sense to you and you think I am just being a dick, then so be it. I stand behind that post.
