In Utter Agony...Long 1st Post

[Greek]

I answered your initial post about three times already today and then deleted my response b/c I didn't really know where to start with everything you wrote. My first response ends up being my current thought, which is .... slow down, Eternal. You have chaotic emotions. You have a chaotic relationship. Your H is upside down. You have been betrayed, feel unloved and - worst of all - you are afraid. That is like taking a drink of water from a fire hydrant, sister!!!!

So...break it down so you can slow it down.

When on an airplane, what are you told to do if cabin pressure is lost. Apply the oxygen mask to yourself FIRST, and then to your child. Translated - gather yourself together so you can best tend to the needs of your little guy. Sleep enough. Eat enough. Laugh enough. Exercise enough. Be still.

Bite your tongue...for now. That would be a 180...no? Several reasons to bite it for now ~~~ first and foremost, you are not thinking clearly at this time. You are hurt, hurt, hurt - who can think in that state? And you don't want to speak without thinking first whenever possible.

Another reason to bite your tongue for the time being is so that you can LISTEN. Gather intel from you H. Information is power. Information will help you CONSIDER what to do next, Eternal. And hey, by the way, listen not only to what he SAYS but...what he DOES. Let it all inform your decisions.

Finally, bite the tongue and THINK. Give yourself TIME to process all of this MESS. Get in front of it by thinking it all through and considering why you have reacted in the ways you have. There is intel in that, as well, and you NEED to understand that as you go forward.

Eat the elephant...one bite at a time.

Cheers ~~~