I just dropped by your thread to post. Havent too many encouraging things to say today though, as Im back right now, to wanting to throw in the towel again.
H announced this evening that we`d been invited to dinner with three other couples in two weeks time.I just said OK in a friendly way. And then he returned to say that he wouldn`t be going but that he`d stay here to babysit if I wanted to go there. I said OK to that too. But my heart sank as I knew he was trying to bait me into a discussion about why he wasnt going. And the fact that he`s not going is really giving a signal that things are not well.
He`s made zero effort with me or the kids today and has gone home tonight-announced it at the last minute. Since his mum has heard a little of our difficulties I`m sure this visit home will enlighten her even further and is tantamount to his throwing in the towel.He hasn`t taken the kids with him.
I`ve taken a tranquilser. I`ll need more to get me through all this.
The good news is you didn't take the bait! That's a change, isn't it?
You can't control what he does. He can throw towels, or whatever he wants to throw. The key is that you control YOUR towel! You can wait. Give him some room, and some rope. In fact, drop the rope. See if he keeps pulling away when you quit pulling him back! In a lot of cases, when you stop pulling, they stop pulling away. They are like little kids, or a dog with a chew toy. While you pull, they pull, when you stop, they don't knwo what to do!
