Glad to hear that you've got the anger stuff under control. Keep in mind that it's not always about channeling anger - sometimes it's about recognizing why certain things spark anger - and what that anger might be telling us about ourselves.
I know it's not easy to put the focus back on oneself - it took me a long, long time - and I was helped along the most by just a couple simple words written by Coach - those words were: wasted energy.
He brought up the idea of wasted energy when he noticed that I kept writing about what I wished could change in my wife - what I wished she could do to improve herself - and Coach, rightly, pointed out that I was wasting my own energy on something that I could do nothing about. After that, whenever I found myself trapped in my own thoughts/projections/fears(lots of that)/concerns/etc about my STBX I would think of wasted energy - and wonder if my behavior, my thoughts or my feelings were helping me grow - or wasting my energy and holding me back. For me, it was a life altering perspective shift - I don't know if these words would do the same for you, or for others, but that's the wonder of this site - there are lots of intelligent, compassionate people here that have the bravery to be very honest with us, even when we're in the most dire, (self) destructive pain of our lives.
To me, the fact that you're at this site says that you're a good man. Keep that kernel intact, build on it, and you will surpass your own expectations.
