Please spitball, Mischka!! I love it!! Thanks so much for posting to me and reading. I'm sorry it was exhausting to read... I tried to keep it concise and not too technical. I feel honored that you read anyway.
Thank you for pointing out that you see a soul connection. I feel that way too, but I'm not sure if he feels that there is a soul connection too still, or if it is just me.
I know what you mean about the logistics. I'm not sure if I've made this clear in my posts, but I'm actually at a point in my life where I move anywhere I want basically at the drop of a hat. I'm on a month-to-month lease, and I have nothing keeping me in atlanta.
I'm still thinking about going to this music program in boston, which would put us closer together (a spontaneous bus ride away instead of a plane flight away) but still not in the same place. I think about new york too, but I have no specific immediate reason to be there, which seems terrifying. Philosophically it seems like if he's not with me, I should make my own plans and if a door in my heart stays open, it stays open. But I can feel this tug in my mind still, like, if I did this, then maybe x would happen with be. Also, he is traveling soooo much that I'm not sure I would even see him that much more frequently if I lived in NY--I'm not sure if he sees me because he wants to, or because he feels obligated? Or if he would make the time to see me if it wasn't a limited-time-visiting-from-out-of-town-opportunity sort of thing?
As for my crush here at lyricafest, he is still sooo hot but... being hot does that mean that he could really *love* me.
It is becoming so clear that courtship and partnership are really not the same thing. I think our culture is obsessed with the energy of courtship, but what I crave is the trust and support of partnership...
I tried to keep it concise and not too technical. I feel honored that you read anyway. 