Please spitball, Mischka!! I love it!! Thanks so much for posting to me and reading. I'm sorry it was exhausting to read... I tried to keep it concise and not too technical. I feel honored that you read anyway.
Thank you for pointing out that you see a soul connection. I feel that way too, but I'm not sure if he feels that there is a soul connection too still, or if it is just me.
I know what you mean about the logistics. I'm not sure if I've made this clear in my posts, but I'm actually at a point in my life where I move anywhere I want basically at the drop of a hat. I'm on a month-to-month lease, and I have nothing keeping me in atlanta.
I'm still thinking about going to this music program in boston, which would put us closer together (a spontaneous bus ride away instead of a plane flight away) but still not in the same place. I think about new york too, but I have no specific immediate reason to be there, which seems terrifying. Philosophically it seems like if he's not with me, I should make my own plans and if a door in my heart stays open, it stays open. But I can feel this tug in my mind still, like, if I did this, then maybe x would happen with be. Also, he is traveling soooo much that I'm not sure I would even see him that much more frequently if I lived in NY--I'm not sure if he sees me because he wants to, or because he feels obligated? Or if he would make the time to see me if it wasn't a limited-time-visiting-from-out-of-town-opportunity sort of thing?
As for my crush here at lyricafest, he is still sooo hot but... being hot does that mean that he could really *love* me.
It is becoming so clear that courtship and partnership are really not the same thing. I think our culture is obsessed with the energy of courtship, but what I crave is the trust and support of partnership...
It is becoming so clear that courtship and partnership are really not the same thing. I think our culture is obsessed with the energy of courtship, but what I crave is the trust and support of partnership...
(((((((T)))))))
That is quite a statement. You may be wise beyond your years!
I know what you mean, courtship is fun but partnership is something else. They usually follow though...
Your meet up with B sounds great! Do you feel that you are both becoming closer with each interaction or are things staying on a level. I guess, the question is how can you step it up a level? I think you should put pursuing out of your mind as it isn't applicable really for you now. What are your thoughts?
I read it all too and I thought it sounded very positive.. as usual! I agree with Mishka that you two seem to share a common connection that excludes alot of other non-muso folk... and muso in your particular field even.. its like, you are in his world, you understand it and he knows that you do, they are threads that still exist between you. My Mum used to talk to me about that.. send him a link to something about music (for us, its guitar based!) and keep the threads alive..
As for you saying.. "I'm not sure if he sees me because he wants to, or because he feels obligated? Or if he would make the time to see me if it wasn't a limited-time-visiting-from-out-of-town-opportunity sort of thing? "
..my take is there is NO WAY an exBF would continue to see an exGF 2 years after the initial problems started before they split up, becuase they felt OBLIGATED. No way. Take it on face value.. if he sees you, its because he wants to see you. As I often have said thouygh, I cant work out what his motivation is, whether he genuinely just wants to be friends, or some other reason. I sort of wish you would check out his FB page to get more info on his life... put us all out of our misery!!
As for your next move.. didnt he say to let him know when you were playing somewhere? Might he come, or did I get that wrong? xxx
I read the whole thing too- I setlled down with a nice cup of tea and really enjoyed hearing about what you've been up to and what B is up to, and how great your conversation was.
I agree with Al that B sees you because he wants to. I guess the thing is to try and build the friendship a little more and then perhaps bring in some harmless flirtation, as Jody suggested Julia do in her friendship with H. Do you flirt with B at all when you see him? Eye contact, or a flirtatious type of banter perhaps?
Are you going to see each other this weekend, after the festval? Sorry if I missed that in your post.
thanks so much for taking the time to read and make all your thoughtful observations and ask such good questions. I'll be answering them soon... I am still at the festival and we performed last night. It went well!!
news: I didn't contact B at all after breakfast last saturday morn, but he sent me a really nice text this morning out of the blue:
So did you perform last night? or tonight? I hope it went/goes well! It turns out I didn't get my pic in last weeks NY'er [magazine--he mentioned this to me in a recent email], but my name is in there somewhere...
I'm thinking I'll text him back something like, "Congratulations on your name being in the new yorker!! What page are you on??? There was some drama in my group that I'd love to discuss with you but we rallied and played last night and it went well." Or something like that.
I'm thinking about flat-out asking him if he wants to hang out june 11th or 12th. Something like, "I think I'll be in ny june 11th/12th. It would be great to see you if you're around." Or even bolder, "I think I'll be in ny june 11th/12th. Want to hang out?"
suggestions? on either short term or long term strategy?
I tried to keep it concise and not too technical. I feel honored that you read anyway.