Renee, I want to reiterate that I do not think your xh is in mlc. If you were to get the book that I recommended to you last month called "The Script", you would see that many wahs say the same thing and act the same way...no confusion about anything that they are doing. Your h isn't acting confused in any way, he may have for a bit at first, but he was getting his balance from walking out the door. Your h wants little or nothing to do w/you or the relationship. This is just my opinion.
Do a search on the word guilt in the archives and you might be surprised at the information that is there for your leisurely reading. Start using the search engine on this site and you will find the information that would be most helpful to you in all areas of the wahs and mlcers. Take advantage of the tools that this board offers...you may stumble across information that you've not given a thought about that may be beneficial to you.
Okay, to answer your question about guilt...the more you guilt them, the less they are likely going to want to be around you. When you "appear" to be moving on w/your life and not begging, pleading, crying, whining being clingy, etc., the more likely they will have some contact w/you. Think about it....if you knew you had done something twrong, would you want to be reminded of it every time you spoke to the person because the person is pleading or crying? I don't think so. He is acting like a kid who knows he's done wrong and doesn't want mommy to call him on it.
You have to remember that a mlc situation must be treated differently than a normal situation because you aren't dealing w/an emotionally mature adult. Again, I do not think your h is mlc. Whether I am right or wrong about him, you still need to focus on you and the boys and continue living your life as if he's not going to return. You need to start focusing on what you are going to do w/your life from this day forward and if he should return, then that is the time to worry about how you will deal w/his return....
FF, Addictions will come in many forms and drugs are just one of the addictions that we have noticed around the board.
