Desperate for direction

[Doingitright]

Thanks. We have been attending MC for 5 weeks now. It is going well. Seems like recently we have a great session and a great breakthrough each time. The challenge is TRUST issues. We can’t erase the past and I try not to go back there as it is sooo very painful. But we travel back at least once a week to get our fill of pain due to W’s curiosity about what I was doing during her 4 month fantasy camp time.

W insists it was not an EA. Even though the emails were about $ex, garments being worn and being in each others arms blah, blah blah etc etc. W will not read anything regarding such.

We are not in a financially sound situation so W was pissed off when she saw the charge for using DB counseling. I said it was for me to be able to get on with life. At the time W would not go to counseling. W has admitted she never want to fix things with me during that dark time. But she has this uncanny ability to forget things like that. Of course I related the funds to the equivalent of her cell phone bills jacked up b/c of OM communications for several months in the hundreds of dollars.

Don’t get me wrong things are 1000% better than the dark times. We just keep slipping back on this same thing over and over again. It has been only 4 weeks since things have been “good” so I think it is too soon to think this will go away or subside. I just have this curiosity about what others have experienced on this “flipping of who is worse”/ the “justification/blame game” and the trust subjects.