Calm down. You can't worry about something you have no idea about. You are fine. Why are you anxious about HIM going to court for his DUI? Let yourself off the hook, SO2.
M 5yrs 1st baby-girl born 6/18/08 Bomb: 10/13/07 OW - I was 6wks Prego H Moved in w/OW: 11/2/07 D Final 07/10 OW had his baby 3/17/09-so her Me, now - happier than I ever was with him
Calm down. You can't worry about something you have no idea about. You are fine. Why are you anxious about HIM going to court for his DUI? Let yourself off the hook, SO2.
I am worried about his reaction...that he will hate me for this. He will take it out on me somehow. I know its really lame thinking.I didn't cause it, but I am to blame for it.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Well it seems that i missed a lot of discussion here.
Sorry SO2 but I have to remind you of what everyone else says - you may have called the cops but he put himself in that position. Consequences are the way adults learn including A's.
Sorry too that your feelings still give you a difficult time with him. I used to repeat this to myself when I separated from H twice - I would remind myself that I can love him but he can't love me back while he is drinking which translates into a good R isn't possible unless he is sober. It was very hard as you know... but I had to find a way to understand what he was doing and what I needed to do for myself. Hope it helps.
He did do this to himself. You all are right. He just has this circle of family and exinlaws that tell him I am the worst person in the world and it fires him up.
I do love him. I admit it. I also look at him with disgust too. Nothing is ever sincere.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
That family is not normal and you know it. Don't worry about them, they think he is ok? what does that say about them? On the other hand, I bet that he doesn't really tell them anything, how could he when he is either MIA or drinking - I think they know the sitch and feel bad that you were not the one who could save him for them. Get all that?
Loving an A is a mixed bag, just shows you your own depth as a person - one who is willing to accept the complexities of life. Dwell on what the sitch says about you, and what your feelings say about the kind of person you are - a great one! a loving one and caring one.!
Exh was starting his quacking again last night. He is throwing his hands in the air and basically saying since I have moved on with coach (wtf?) its too late for him to do anything. He isn't happy and he isn't with anyone. One of those moments I had to bite my tongue again. He is with someone, she just can't be available to him 24/7 as she is married.
Anyway, not too much later my daughter comes home from work and had to drop her coworker off who lives right next door to exh. She said there was a minivan in the driveway. Got to be married woman. 20 minutes later he is texting me again.
Thank goodness for little moments like that! As painful as it is, it is a kick in the a** on who he really is.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Wow just a classic manipulator isn't he. Good for you for not falling for it and it's throwing him off. I think it's awesome that he thinks you are dating, that's throwing him off, I let that go, don't lie but don't correct him. I'm sure he thought you'd just wait for him and take the crumbs he gives you, good for you for being strong.
Me:40 W: 39 T: 17 years M: 15 years S-9 D-6 D final 11/10/2009
"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems."
Yeah he is....my guess he is still involved with married woman because 1)she probably gives him sex with no strings. 2)she mentioned she is in constant pain from alot of surgeries which means constant supply of vicodin or other meds. Exh will use that. He got away from abusing the meds for awhile as they were harder for him to get..thats when he turned to drinking. Now if he has a source he may abuse them again.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
