Fire's burning out...just smoldering

[blindsided1]

So, I've been wondering...the last couple of months, I haven't been calling my H or contacting him or engaging in much conversation. I keep my distance, I don't look for reasons to see him or talk to him. Basically, I'm letting him have his life and leaving him alone.

So, I had hoped that maybe by FINALLY practicing some of the DB techniques, he might act differently towards me. Maybe even with some kindness. But, alas, he still shows absolutely no emotion or concern or care. I feel that I have detached a lot over these last few months. But, it still hurts to watch someone you loved, not give a damn about you anymore.

So, it's been 19 months since he moved out and in with her. Do the DB techniques lose their affectiveness after such a long period of time. I started wondering if they were really only effective in the beginning of a break-up. I wonder that too much water has gone under the bridge. And, now that I have distanced myself...although I am still very cordial and inviting to him....perhaps he sees that as me not wanting HIM in my life and is now backing off.

Why am I even contemplating this? I can't take him back. I don't feel the same about him. I haven't forgiven him, yet. So, why do I even care? Maybe because at some point I would like to know that he feels some kind of regret for the damage and pain he inflicted. But, I guess I can't make him be something he just isn't....compassionate.