This all seems so extremely unreal to me, like a Twilight Zone episode. If I stop and think very much about the degree to which her attitude and values have changed, it would rip my heart out all over again, not to mention drive me insane.
And you certainly won't believe me who suddenly shows up while I, S8 and S4 are waiting for S8's school bus at the bus stop this morning. Yes, the xW.
She seemed quite perturbed and I was more than a bit surprised, as I would have thought she would have been on her way to FL already.
She asked me was I taking a day off from work. I replied that I am (wanting to scream "I HAD TO!"), and then I asked her, "Shouldn't you be on your way to Florida or something?" xW says she is not leaving 'til this afternoon.
Wonderful.
xW then told me it was not necessary for me to have taken off, as her mother decided to not only come back early, but cancelled her trip altogether. xW then said I should have called her or the evil MIL to find out if she was really going to be out of town after all. She goes on to blame me for not initiating communication with her about this -- as if it is my sole responsibility to check in with her to find out changes with her and her mother's schedules!
I could feel my blood pressure rising, and the other parents standing around waiting with their own kids at the bus stop could likely tell how agitated we were getting with each other. Especially when she snidely asked me whether I had a telephone or not, so as to be able to communicate with and find out these things.
Part of me wanted to let her have the full piece of my mind, but I did not want her to ruin my day any more than she already had. I really wish she had not decided to come insinuate herself on our peaceful morning -- well, it was at least particularly pleasant up to that moment she arrived.
At about that point I told xW our sons to hug their mother goodbye and to wish her a safe flight -- basically ushering her to move herself along and go away. But she persisted, and we again traded barbed responses to each other. She told me I could go on to work and she'd take S4 to her evil mother's for the remainder of the day. But I had already made the effort to make last minute arrangements to have the day off and work from home -- why on earth, having already spent the costly political capitol with my employer, would I waste it so she can further destroy my day?
She is actually trying to make the case that I need not have taken a day off and it's somehow my fault for not communicating. Her oft refrain is that I am terrible at communicating and for that reason the failure of our M is my fault -- but I am having the real truth of the matter demonstrated and underscored right before me yet again -- it obviously wasn't all me, or even mostly me.
So xW is obviously being extremely dense and down-right stupid -- if she tells me she or her mother is not going to be available as late as the Friday afternoon before the given Monday is to occur, I am going to be hard-pressed to arrange to be off that much in advance -- let alone waiting the Sunday evening right before! But that is exactly what she is suggesting. And even then, she thinks I am supposed to check in with her to find out her schedule! Aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrgh!!!
And after the bus finally arrives and takes S8 off, she again makes comment to me. I've had enough of her cr*p at this point and I take S4 by the hand to leave. She is still yammering at me, and I stopped in my tracks, looked her in the face and said "Goodbye, have a safe flight -- this conversation is over."
I really don't know how I kept a lid on it. But even with the other parents around I could hear our voice levels rising. I started to tell her to go have a "good time" with her boyfriend down in sunny Florida, but I am at the point now that I could care less. All I want is peace for my S's sake, but she won't allow even that.
Again, I find myself asking myself the question Was I really married to that woman? How could I have ever been in love with someone that could really be so awful, selfish and heartless? How? Not in my worst nightmares could I have imagined this much pain and confusion. Truth is faaaaar stranger than fiction.
