Well, I can't really offer any advice. All mine does is get mad when I don't contact her. She calls my house once and my cell once and leaves messages on both. Then if I take too long to call back look out.
I hope I don't get a knock at my door anytime soon.
Oh, I forgot about the emails. That's normally the prefered method of engagement. She must be getting bored with those though. Either that or she is missing my sexy voice. : )
LOL, that must be it. Appearantly, mine is missing my sexy everything.. LMAO. Yeah, if the pounding on the door is after midnight, it is especially unnerving. I hope yours doesn't go that route. Sucks to be them. They are trying to make it suck to be us too. I refuse to let them.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
Hey S, if it is making you feel uncomfortable, then it is a problem. The fool is freaking out!
I think you need to set some stronger boundaries with him. Tell him he is not to come over unless invited and that the only contact that you need is regarding the children.
After that, you might want to ask a lawyer what could be done. Seriously, it is getting me a bit uncomfortable and I am not even there.
Ah, the fun. Just got a text from him. Lost his job remember.. b/c of having affair with the 18yo employee og...just working odd stuff to make some cash...
Said something like, I will be homeless in a couple of days, and I haven't paid my car payment and don't even know how much I owe.. can u call and find out for me or get me the number. don't wory, even if I have to live in my car I will still get the kid's money to you..
Man, he knows I'm a nice person and tries really hard to play the woe is me guilt game. He hasn't been looking for a job very hard, and he has been going out w/og. So, I'm not really feeling that sorry for him. I know for a fact that he shorted me on c/s last week by 100 bucks, and then took og out for dinner and a movie... priorities...
Anyway, I texted him back and just said- u need to go stay with your mom, find a job, and get back on ur feet. You are right, the kids need your support money, if not I can't pay for (son's) sports and I'm not going to do that to him. Please take some action to help yourself. I'll send you the car number.
Oh, he's really good at the my life sucks so bad I'm so hopeless game. That is one of the things I couldn't stand about him at the end (really about last 2 yrs). So negative and my life sucks worse than anybody else. I like to try to stay positive, and that just beats me down.
Hope everyone is having a good day.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
I am in full agreement with BG here. YOU need to set some boundries with him. It is NOT okay to disturb your life anymore with this crap that he is pulling with you. If it is not about the children, at a reasonable hour, then HE needs to deal with it. If he has the kids? Then he can call if, and only if, it is an emergency dealing with the children.
This is what he wanted, remember that. Because I don't think he does. He is ill equipped to deal with himself right now, and is looking for someone else to swoop down and rescue him.
What ultimately has to happen is that he needs to do this work himself. Have YOU always been the one to "fix" his problems ? If so, that is why he is turning to you for this. I would assume that he is just as capable of finding out that info on HIS car the same as you are.
Right now, he is still blaming you for eveything that is going wrong with him and his life. Until HE decides to deal with his own problems, this will continue as long as there are not any boundries in place.
What I am seeing is that although you have set some boundries, he is assuming that he is above them. That is a lack of respect for your boundries. Only means to me that they need to be layed down again, and much stronger. There has to be a strength coming from you when you enforce them. If there are no repercussions to his actions ? Why shouldn't he try to get away with it.
This is hard to do, we all know that. But the true test of character is when you are up against it.
Boundries that are done with Respect, Dignity, and Grace work well but there has to be a firmness with them. The SECOND time they have to be repeated ?
Well.....That is a different story.....cause a 2x4 doesn't even come close.......More like a telephone pole....
Boundries are for YOU....and the children more than for him, but as long as he doesn't respect them, this BS will continue. Put you and your children's safety at the forefront of all of this M.
Hey C, I totally agree with you. I am going to have to be way more firm. I have tried to be nice and not really too harsh b/c I felt like he was on the edge and fragile. You know, even after all of this cr*p, I am happy (his crazy shiat aside), and want to see him eventually be happy and stand on his own two feet.
YES, I have been the one to keep him together and do EVERYTHING for the last I don't know how many years. I have stopped, and you see what happened to him. By his own choices and own hand of course. He actually verbalized to me on several occasions that he "cannot" be alone. I told him that he is a freaking 33 y/o man and he needs to learn how to be alone and take care of himself. I told him this numerous times. He is waaayyy crashing and burning without me to clean up his messes. Seriously, that's why the gf is 18. What grown woman would want that? I know I don't want another child.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
