I lost it today-typically he is logged into yahoo messenger all day so he can talk to her. Today he hasn't been logged in at all. I figured he would log in around 11:30 since that's when she gets off work, but no. Our landlord called with some things to discuss and I emailed and called him-nothing. When he finally did call back, I asked him why he wasn't on messenger-he said it was because it upset me. Whatever-he hasn't care so far what upsets me. I think they just went to a different service, msn or aim. They both have i-phones and use palringo on them. I'm just so sick of the lying he does, and the deception. He told me today he doesn't feel like he's doing anything wrong at all but won't tell me why he thinks what he's doing is ok. I guess this is my karmic slap for what I did. I wonder if it's normal to swing between anger and sadness and optimism during this process. This is not a man that I know-my mother seems to think it's MLC and after finding something else out, I'm inclined to agree, but that doesn't really help me detach any more.
My daughter is coming up tonight, she graduates from hs this Friday. He has raised her since she was 5 and he's the man she calls Daddy. She's been destroyed by this-I'm so angry that at the happiest time of her life (to date) she will be remembering not her prom or the lead in the spring musical or graduation-she'll be remembering her parents' marriage breaking up. I'm also angry that he doesn't seem to get that he's being selfish in all this-he's putting his own wants before his son's.
I guess I need to keep rereading DB and try to find DR asap. I'm working on changing my thinking patterns which influence my moods and behavior-but today is really really tough. I'm just about to throw my hands up and walk away from all this.
