WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 10

[confusedinpa]

Well when you've wanted to call her but didn't what did you want to talk about? IF you call her and I'm guessing you will in the next few days just make sure no R talk at all, keep it short and sweet.

When I wanted to call her, but didn't I wanted to just ask how she was doing or what was going on (in a non-relationship way). I guess it's part of the co-dependency thing where just hearing her voice calms me. Ironically, part of my wife's complaing pre-bomb was that when I traveled (I went to Europe for about a week about every 10 weeks) that I would never call. I would send a couple of text, but nothing of substance. I had told her that I didn't call because of the time difference (didn't want to wake her or the kids) as well as that I do get sad when I'm that far and hear her voice, but know I'm not there.

I'm still debating about calling her. I talked to my friend who is a WAW and she suggests that my wife just needs a shoulder to cry on or a friend to help her through this or someway to make her feel wanted by someone. She thinks I would be wasting my time and that I should just move on. It make sense to me, but she also said that she, in a million years, would never want to have her husband as a friend or a shoulder to cry on.

If I do call, I was going to keep it light chit chat - sort of like (hold the 2x4's) date conversation. Again, IF I do call.

Another thought is that she is truly too afraid to openly make herself trust me or be vulnerable with me, so this is her attempt to see, sorta like putting her small toe in the water.

I know Sandi said something similar to my WAW friend as that I would be wasting my time and helping her right out of my life.

I just don't know.

So folks, has anybody have a WAW, after they left, be upset that the LBS hasn't called.....