WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 10

[confusedinpa]

How many times in your life, especially when you were fighting with your wife, have you said something that you did not mean? You may have said it because you were pissed off and/or hurt...but you did not mean it! Other people do these things too! Don't believe ANYTHING she says right now! Shed it like water off a duck's back.

After the call last nite, I tried to calm myself with the fact that she said exactly the same thing before she left and about a month after the Divorce filing. Unfortunately, I kept coming up with another thing that she said, that she felt "the urgent need to escape the hurt before it was too late" - meaning move out. Now that she's "escaped the hurt", she now feels like its really too late.

I know that she can't/won't let go of the hurt, nor get any help to do so. I don't know why, but do know I can't do anything about it. Until then, there is no chance to rebuild the trust.

I'm still struggling with what she said of how she feels since she's moved out, I had shown her that I hadn't changed as I've been neglecting her again - not calling, talking, chatting, etc. I had told her that was my way of respecting her time and space to heal, but she said that the time and space to heal was not to be asked to go to dinner or lunch all the time. So she's said that I should call if I want to call (she said the same thing about 3 weeks ago).

I really don't get it as this is so anti DB/DR. I've bounced along other threads and haven't seen anything like this come up. Part of me thinks it's cake eating. Part of me thing she's trying to pull my strings like a puppet as I've given her all the power. Part of me also thinks she's being truthful as that is what she really wants.

She did call me this morning. I was in a meeting and couldn't really hear her so I told her that I would just call her back later. When I called her back, she said I had forgotten to pack my 3 year old's pillow for school and his day care tuition was due today. She chit chatted a bit and I joked around with her with a postive upbeat attitude.

I'm still confused though. What to do?!?!?!?!

This now the second time she's asked/stated that I should call her if I wanted to. Very bizzare, even for a WAW