Fire's burning out...just smoldering

[blindsided1]

Weekend was okay. After H flaked on his Friday visit..he was calling me all afternoon on Saturday. He didn't leave a single message. So, I didn't call him back. K and I were getting ready to go to the fair and the phone rings. It's H. I answer. He wants to know if he can come pick K up. WTH? Seriously. He doesn't mention a thing about switching nights when he flakes on Friday and then waits to see how he feels or if something better comes up on Saturday before calling me to ask to have her. I told him that we had plans to go to the fair. So, he asks if I can bring her to him afterwards. Fine, I say. We go to the fair with friends and about 7:30 I text H to see if he will come get her from the fair so I don't lose my parking space. Well, he knows exactly where I am parked. I ask him how he knows that and he tells me that he came down to that area to get dinner and saw my car. Can you say stalker? So, he meets me. Puts K in the car. I walk over to say goodbye to her and H is in the backseat saying "Look K who's that? It's your brother, Dane." Annoying. So, I just said "can I say goodbye to her, please". I lean in, kiss her and leave. I just can't seem to acknowledge his son, yet. It's like I'm pretending that it is all okay and normal. He acts like he is trying to force me to accept the sitch. And, I will...on MY time, not when he thinks I should be ready to. So, Sunday he texts me and asks me to meet him half way to pick K up. I say "no". I'm out doing things and won't be anywhere near that area. But, my Mom will and my brother lives over there. So, I tell him he can drop her off at my brother's. He agrees. I say "Sounds great. Talk to you later". He says "fine". He takes her to my brother's, walks in the house with her, talks to my brother and my Mom. My Mom asks how the baby is and he says "Oh, he's here, in the truck (the truck...outside...in the driveway...alone?????)." Then he says "I'll go get him." And, he brings the baby in for my Mom and brother to meet. Weird. My Mom and brother say he looks nothing like H or K. He has black hair, darker skin and dark, slanted eyes. I mean, I think it IS his son. However, it's odd that K looks exactly like him and this one looks NOTHING like him. Anyway. That was my weekend. I was very happy to have K home. I missed her, terribly.

Last night I had a slight bout of "whoa is me". I felt sad. I cried. To think about what happened to my family and to watch him raise his son full-time and K is just second to his new life. It makes me sad.