first, you ARE doing well and I just tossed out flags to watch for. You are not being punitive and I totally agree that for YOU to make all the effort to visit and take how many people how far when mil could have gotten off HER duff and come to see them in the past? You were too nice then so that's what they're used to. Oh well, Things change don't they?
I will wish anyone with a list of 19 traits in someone else, good luck. I prefer to have maybe three or 4, like good character, wants to grow, compatible intellect/sense of humor. I had a friend with a one page list of traits she said were "MANDATORY" and she is now 46....yes, she is still single. But it doesn't hurt to have an idea of what you want. But then people change too.
ANYHOW,
you are doing very well my friend. Oh your h's comment that OW expects nothing from him is hugely telling. Yeah I bet he's right. Be with whoever has the lowest expectations--guess that's HIS list of traits he wants. Pathetic.
Give the mil time. She has yet to realize what she is losing and how badly she raised her son. I hope to God my son never does something like this but you can be dang sure if he does, I'LL HAVE A SERIOUS TALK WITH HIM AND MORE...
Just no way I'd let my own kid do that to his own kids or to a good spouse. I'd mandate c if my son wanted my respect. (Yes I would still love him, but yes I have expectations and I'd tell him "I raised you better than this", etc) and I'd bust my butt off to help the dil.
Well, I think we all would. But since it's mostly women who raise the men in the country it IS something WE need to take some responsibility for when we see our sons growing up in their R's with women. Just food for thought in the future for me to remember.
(( j ))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
