FF, I have read your posts and have found them to be very helpful. I glad your here and offering help to others. If you have a moment to read this post I would really love to hear your perspective on my sitch.
My sitch is unique (like everyone else here) mostly because of my lack of expression of emotion in a healthy way and how easily I would just shut down and not communicate with my W. When we would argue I would stop talking to her and sometimes that would last for days. My inability to express emotions in a healthy way would get worse as time went by because I would just hold it all in. Well of course over time I would be irritable, on edge and even get angry over nothing. This grew into her feeling as though she couldn't tell me about things that she thought would make me angry.(this is what she says anyway) Over time she was hiding a lot of stuff and when I would find out about it I would get angry but the anger was not about the issue but about her feeling like she cant tell me about the issue and that she was hiding things from me because she felt afraid of my reaction. This hurt me deeply. Now yes I admit that I would over react at times but a lot of this is her just not communicating with me and just blaming me for a reaction that I haven't given her. Does that make sense?
My question to you is does it really make sense to go dark on my WAW when this is just the same old ME, closed up and not communicating unless she initiates? I know that right now shes gone and I cant change that and giving her an ultimatum right now doesn't make sense.
