K all sounds very positive just continue to do what you are doing take it slow This therapist sounds good also and you H may be ready to do that now definitely seems like he is turning a corner remember it is possible some come home I personally know 4 now 5 couples who have gone thru what appeared like MLC and came home all 5 reconciling peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Hi D, Things are going well, going a bit fast but so far, so good.. H is moving his things home as we post...He has signed us up to see the therapist who ran out communication class for marital counseling..He and I told the girls he was moving back and that went pretty good, D11 was a bit hesitant(privately she tells me she doesn't trust either of us anymore, and she will miss all of the girls-only time with me and her sister)... but she spontaneously gave her daddy a hug today so I think down deep she's happy...
H and I have gotten along well since he made this decision- I'm doeing lots of listening and learning alot about what happend with him the last 6 silent months... Let 'ya know how the weekend goes!
M44 H46 T21 Married 16y D14 D12 Bomb 12/08(EA), (PA/Separation)1/09 to 5/09 Home/MC 5/09 to 12/09 Leaves 12/09 Files for Divorce Divorce final 6/30/10.
Hi D, Things are going well, going a bit fast but so far, so good.. H is moving his things home as we post...He has signed us up to see the therapist who ran out communication class for marital counseling..He and I told the girls he was moving back and that went pretty good, D11 was a bit hesitant(privately she tells me she doesn't trust either of us anymore, and she will miss all of the girls-only time with me and her sister)... but she spontaneously gave her daddy a hug today so I think down deep she's happy...
H and I have gotten along well since he made this decision- I'm doeing lots of listening and learning alot about what happend with him the last 6 silent months... Let 'ya know how the weekend goes!
M44 H46 T21 Married 16y D14 D12 Bomb 12/08(EA), (PA/Separation)1/09 to 5/09 Home/MC 5/09 to 12/09 Leaves 12/09 Files for Divorce Divorce final 6/30/10.
K That is great keep up with your listening and remember to also take care of yourself good luck count your blessing!! you are one of the few here peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Update: H is all moved back home. Had a pretty weekend, getting stuff together for massive garage sale next weekend since we now have lots of duplicate stuffy(coffee maker, toaster..etc). H still talking a lot, still processing his breakup with OW. We had a few tense moments in conversations but managed to get through them OK. H says he is definitely more sensitive about control/power issues now and he has less self-esteem than before the A. The OW really did a number on him in the end..I think it will take time for him to get past and to process what happened.
We spent some quality time with the girls in between all of their social activities and I can tell they are enjoying their Dad being home..Things feel comfortable, but H and I both know we still have work to do on our relationship and he's "doing his best".
So far, so good..
M44 H46 T21 Married 16y D14 D12 Bomb 12/08(EA), (PA/Separation)1/09 to 5/09 Home/MC 5/09 to 12/09 Leaves 12/09 Files for Divorce Divorce final 6/30/10.
Update: Things are going OK. It is hard to be at this stage. Every once-in-while H and I revert to our old "bad" communication habits..H gets very discouraged when this happens(as do I, but I expect some setbacks)..H is off antidepressants and is much more stressed and emotional(teary)..He at least tends to recognize this most of the time. I've encouraged him to talk to his MD about trying a different A/D...H did set up, on his own, MC for us next week with the therapist that ran our communication class. So that is extremely hopeful.
We are in a flurry to possibly sell our home and downsize to a nearby area(about 2 miles from where we live now), the kids would stay in the same school and be even closer to some of their friends..This is a stressful proposition which makes tons of sense financially and feels good in many ways emotionally (fresh start, less "baggage" of stuff/things, no maintenance property- so more free time for each other and kids), but its scary since we are just starting to be together again. H did say he loved me, and is close physically, but there is still some distance as he is still "getting" over breakup with OW...
So we will see. Scary/exciting time..hard work, piecing.
M44 H46 T21 Married 16y D14 D12 Bomb 12/08(EA), (PA/Separation)1/09 to 5/09 Home/MC 5/09 to 12/09 Leaves 12/09 Files for Divorce Divorce final 6/30/10.
