he was back, i think

[mdoodles]

i havent a clue!

today i am just so sad, so suffering.

and last year at this time, i was doing ok, thought i accepted we were done and i got sucked back in.

i should be so so angry with him, especially with the business we opened that will now close.

but my anger gets me nowhere.

im sure i will here from my lawyer today or tomorrow, that we are to move ahead with the separation.

i dont want this. i never wanted this.

i dont know how to not talk to him, how to not be on our good terms.

i dont know how to ever believe him again either.

i dont know how we get through this, i honestly dont know how.

its easy for everyone to tell me it takes time. no one is in my shoes.

from the outside, sure, it looks like i should hate him and never want him again.

but i dont know how to get over his touch. i just dont.

or i just dont want to. yet.