DCBHM, It sounds like you are doing really well! Im glad to hear that the custody hasnt gone badly. I hope that things keep moving in this positive direction!
I'm doing well emotionally. I'm fairly detached, and quite frankly it is probably due to the fact that W/MIL and the attorney came on so strong it forced me back into old habits of protecting myself. I put D1 first and foremost even when I was emotionally confused, I've focused on what I need to do in order to maximize my time with her. I've felt a lot of the things I read around here, emotional confusion, etc. but I have pretty much had to push that part of me aside in order to focus on doing what I think is right.
A consequence of that is the emotional detachment has indeed helped me to find a better place, emotionally and spiritually. I'm not reliant on a relationship with W to be happy - and that in itself is a victory for me. While I would love to restore my M, I don't feel like I should give anything up in terms of myself. W has done the wrong, and I'm willing to forgive her and move past it, but she is the one who has to do the work. I'm willing to do the work on myself to fix my part in the relationship - but I'm not going to allow a situation where I'm the only one working.
Not after she has pushed it this far.
Would you rather be right or would you rather be married is a false dichotomy with a Borderline. Would you rather be emotionally healthy or would you rather be married is more like it if they aren't willing to seek help.
Originally Posted By: Puppy Dog Tails
Truer words have never been spoken
Something tells me the "I want to work things out" conversation is only going to occur if/when W ends up losing custody. At that point - I don't think I'm going to have much faith in a recovery.
"You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into."
