Me:39 H:40 S:9 D:7 First Bomb ONS:June 07 Second Bomb OW: March 08 Separated: March 08 M:15 yrs T:18 yrs H deep into A with OW Achieved ACCEPTANCE May 30, 09
I cleared the carpet as I said I would today. Guess what, my wife was not happy because she said I could have measured the garden for the childrens trampoline, AND I never received a thank you. We then discussed the cost of the trampoline, which I said would be difficult for me to purchase at the moment as my finances are limited. From that point on the discussion deteriorated into an argument about finances.
I said my wife should be starting to assist me with the rates on the house. I never asked her for assistance on the mortgage, just the monthly rates which I think is very reasonable, particularly as I am moving back into the house this month. She texted me to ask me to go around to the house tonight to discuss this and the final settlement.
I responded by flatly refusing to do this as the children would be present and she knows I would fold again to avoid a row with the children being there.
She then decides to ring me - I knew then how this was going to end up.
I told her I would not be leaving the house until the end of November when the fixed mortgage finishes, she assumes I was going to leave in October. She went into a white rage and said she would get a court injunction to stop me seeing the children, I cannot stay at the house seeing as we would be divorced....She then hung up on me.
I then receive the following text:
Don't ever kid yourself you are not like your dad because you are just like him. You have become the most spiteful, money-grabbing man I have ever met. It's crap when you say you cared about me and still do, you never did hence why our marriage has gone wrong. You will only be happy when you have completely destroyed me, 14 years of treating me like a piece of sh*t obviously was not enough for you. I am being so fair to you, especially with the children or would you like me to turn round and say you cannot see them. This is your cahnce to prove to be a good dad to them and you are throwing it away. You createdthis whole situation but seem to feel I should be punished for it, which just proves the sort of man you are, and you think you deserved another chance!
She sent sent another one saying I will basically do what I want to do as I have always done.
Would someone please give me some views on this please!!!
Bomb dropped: 19/12/08 Me:48 WAW:41 D:10 S:6 Married: 15 years
How do you read into what she said? Are these the words of a woman who hates me, is it WAW talk? Is this the end?
I am trying to stand my ground for the first time, but as gucci said be strong but not punitive, mean or spiteful. I wasn't trying to be any of these during our row, I was trying to 'man up' but not be any of the above.
Bomb dropped: 19/12/08 Me:48 WAW:41 D:10 S:6 Married: 15 years
I did respond with Puppy's words. My wife has just rung me in floods of tears and said that she cannot do this anymore and we will have to do everything via our solicitors. She then ended the call.
I am really sad it has come to this in the space of 1 hour. What is happening? The tiny progress I thought I was making has just been blown away.
Bomb dropped: 19/12/08 Me:48 WAW:41 D:10 S:6 Married: 15 years
Stop looking for "final nails" and "now I've blown my chances forevers". Nothing you can say or do can carry that much power, but you do need to stay on this newer, stronger course if nothing else than for your OWN sanity.
She's using the children as threats. I would try ignoring her for now, but if she keeps doing that, you're going to have to call her on it.
