well, all i can say is, its a true pleasure to watch a relationship die and know its really dead. its not a pleasure to be denied and truthfully, can be worth the risk.
the fantasy, if allowed to live on and continue in the mind, can do so much untold damage, and you will not reconnect to your wife any quicker. she still holds him up as prince galahad in her head.
sometimes we need to be strong enough to let people take a fall, and hope that fall happens - with a few well planned and thought out ideas to rush it along of course. I would rather compete with a dead and buried relationship that failed than the ghost of mr or mrs perfect, in their mind, because they never had to do it rough.
worth at least some thought.
winning is good, but winning in the heart and soul by truth is ultimately more worth it than winning thru force alone - tho I am the FIRST PERSON to admit a measure of force is needed for self respect and healing; but if you already know about the affair and you have already decided in your mind to beat it and forgive it, then deciding to make that extra step to take a big GAMBLE in life that its going to mess up on its own given enough time and rope, isnt a bad option.
I would rather have someone want me as a first choice, not a second choice. and if i knew i was second choice, I would want to walk away. And ultimately, thats exactly what can and does happen in relationships where an affair was outed and dealt with hard but not finished.
eventually 2 things happen : 1) the cheater still pines over their 'lost love' and 20 the spouse gets really tired and finally, begins to get angry. that isnt adding up to a great start at a brand new life together.
but thats not for everyone. everything i say is subjective and must be weighed accordingly. you have to know whats right for you and your own partnership. im only pointing out some perils. and some options. thats all.
When you're down to nothing, God is up to something.
