WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 10

[GH31]

She said that she tried to contact me almost daily and I just ignored her like I did in the past. Now she says that was enough

DBing is best defined as follows:

Use what works, reject what doesn't work

Go back and read what you just wrote my friend and make a note of what got you favourable results and what got you unfavourable results. The further you get in this DB odyssey, the more you'll realise what works and what does not. Do what works i.e. do the things which result in drawing your wife closer to you and avoid doing things which have the opposite effect. This is easier said than done and will take lots of self-discipline but you must get a grip of yourself and give yourself and your marriage the best chance.

I have been very abusive and thoughtless in my own marriage. Whenever my wife asked why I had carried on like that I simply said "I can't explain it in a way which doesn't sound like I'm making excuses. I was wrong before and you can't defend the indefensible". During the last 18 months I have lost count of the number of times I said that - my wife still asks me this but much less frequently now.

Hope this helps - very sorry that you have to be here.