First, (((Hug))), because the situation you are in is very painful. It is hard to see the person you love turn away from you, and not understand why.
I have been posting for about a year, and I want to share that DBing is about making you a better you. This may go hand in hand with saving your M, and getting your H back from the OW, but it CANNOT be the main focus. Right now, the main focus has to be you working on taking care of you, because if you don't, no one else will. If in the process it saves your M, then it is good. But regardless, it is about you being okay and strong, no matter what happens.
DON'T THINK SUICIDE!! Why give him the easy way out? You are stronger than that. At one time or another, many on this board have had the same thoughts. If they are not just fleeting thoughts, you need to see a counselor. Regardless, counseling does help.
I have read a number of books, and they all are basically the same. Take care of you. If you come off as weak, moody, and angry, then your H is going to turn away. If you can't hide your mood, get out of the room, out of the house.
It is also okay for you to remember it is NOT okay that he is doing this. In the process of dealing with this issue I read a book that says that women generally suppress the need to be angry. You can feel angry, sad, hurt, like bashing his face in. You just cant do any of it
Feel. That is the biggest thing. If you don't allow yourself to feel, then you won't be able to get it all out.
And breath...
Lola
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
