My H is just like that. He does his fatherly duty by giving them spending money and attending DD's activities, but as far as spending quality time with either of them, it doesn't happen. He just wants to be able to tell people I attended DD's games, etc. When asked the last time he took them to dinner, he wouldn't be able to answer that question, because it's probably been well over a year.
I agree fatherhood becomes a sense of duty to them, not joy. That is a very true statement you made.
Hang in their PM, I don't believe it is up to you anymore to take them to see MIL. If she lived in town it would be different, but this would be an awkward situation for all. You shouldn't have to do that. She is your H's mother, it's his responsibility. Do not feel any guilt. It seems like you tried to your best to be a good DIL when everything was fine. Divorce will mean that things will change, maybe everyone needs a preview. I don't say that with vindictiveness, it's just a sad truth.
Hugs, Yoyo
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
