Hope, I am glad your DD15 is in a good place right now. It's good that you got the help that she needed.
I think men really get scared when the financial reality of what they have done hits. Not so much with the relationships side. The money, though, that is a different matter altogether. My H is at the same stage.
Me:39 H:40 S:9 D:7 First Bomb ONS:June 07 Second Bomb OW: March 08 Separated: March 08 M:15 yrs T:18 yrs H deep into A with OW Achieved ACCEPTANCE May 30, 09