so yesterday I moved my home office from the 'box' I built in the garage to the spare bedroom upstairs. It was hard to do, as it was CHANGE.
I built the 'box' a few years so STBXW could have the spare room do do massages in. It feels good to have a window and fresh air.
Been doing what needs to be done to keep my head straight and GAL. I realize now how much of my life has been a struggle of trying to control everything around me instead of just letting go. And of course, trying to get through the hurt with 'medication' didn't help.
I've made some new friends and getting out more, slowly. Losing the anger.
Last week when we put out dog down, STBX looked at me with a lot of sadness. There was something more than just the loss of our dog.
The next day she came by to pick up D13 after school as she had to go to an awards ceremony for middle school, which STBXW and I also went to to see D13 receive an award.
She asked me if I had a memory card for her camera as she didn't know what had happened to it. I gave her one and told her that she needed to 'format it' before she could use it. She gave me the 'deer in the headlights' look and I told her how to do it. She looked at D13 who said "I'll do it for you mom".
Now, in the past I probably would have said something like "Come on, it's not that hard. Geeze". Instead I just smiled and said nothing. Part of the past was that I didn't respect her because she's not 'like me'. I think that is a big lesson I had to learn. We both have big lessons to learn in life.
We arrived at the school at different times and I didn't see where she was sitting when I came in and sat somewhere else.
After it was over, I went to one of the exit doors and she happened to arrive at the same door when I was there. I saw her and gave a polite smile. She smiled back with her 'you noticed me' smile and winked at me. Kind of flirty. No idea what she was thinking, just a 'reaction' I guess.
We met up with D13 and after a few minutes I gave D13 a hug and said goodbye and STBX asked me if I wanted to walk them to the car. So I did and walked with D13. Got to their car, gave D13 a hug and said goodbye.
It doesn't mean anything other than we're getting along, and I'm healing.
