I did have an internal setback today. I was grocery shopping and ran into W, my girls, and MIL. MIL stayed turned around looking at clothes and refused to even acknowledge my existance there. I wouldn't expect anything less nor was I surprised.
You kept it together and that's what matters. And you have NO idea what is in your w's mind....
W looked so beautiful. She was really done up and in a very pretty dress and sandles. It was striking. We talked for a minute about getting D7 a smaller bike and went and picked one out. But I wasn't going to be able to fit it in my car since my car hasn't been completely cleaned out yet. W was frusturated because they rode with her MIL in her MIL's car and didn't have the van with them. Well, it wasn't like I planned to see her at the store.
You had every right to be there. Act like THEY are stalking YOU...well, Let's not even go there...
Anyways, my internal set back was once I walked on, I almost wanted to cry after seeing her. I didn't and I held myself together the entire time. But it was really hard seeing her and walking on. It really hurt inside. I finished shopping and left. We were at walmart supercenter and so I was getting my oil changed while grocery shopping. I got the kids some things for the pool to make it more enjoyable for them. W wants me to split the cost of D7's bike with her. I said that is fine. She was clothes shopping for the girls. I left money in her account for her to do that.
So I am back at home now and trying to get things tidied up for the girls coming back over tonite for the week. That was really hard for some reason today.
Comes and goes but the times between the hard moments gets longer and the bad gets less painful. This is a healing PROCESS...
I know what you said 25 about whether she files the final decree or not this week. But I know I am not going to be able to help but wonder each day through Thursday if she is going to do it.
Yes you can help it. YOU CAN.
I have a website that I can plug in our case # to see if she has done it. Remember, if she doesn't do anything, the case is dismissed Thursday and she would have to start the whole process over again which I don't think she would do right away. It is possible she forgot about the date. She forgets things all the time that have to be done. I constantly have to remind her that bills are do and her oil change is needed etc.
No you DON'T HAVE TO REMIND HER OF ANYTHING UNLESS IT HAS TO DO WITH THE GIRLS...PERIOD and YOU HAVE ENOUGH ON YOUR PLATE....
So it is very possible she isn't thinking about it right now. Plus this week is going to be a bit busier for her having to leave work early each day to go get the kids from MIL's house and have them at her house by 5 for me to pick them up. MIL doesn't even want me on her lawn. Its crazy. I have done nothing to MIL. Oh well. Such is the way of life with her. But again, I'm not the only one she does that to. She does that to everyone who marries into the family when one of her kids has problems with their spouse. She always sides with her kid regardless of who is wrong. It doesn't matter to her.
She does not matter. Her data is not real. What if she thinks purple lions run the world? Does not matter....and you have no control over her thoughts anyhow!
I have to figure out what to make the kids for dinner tonite. D7 didn't like the totinos pizzas I bought last week so I bought Tony's pizzas this week. I made sure to get her can of black olives she likes to have on her pizza when it comes out of the oven. D11 isn't picky with pizza. She doesn't like anything healthy. D7 is my healthy one. She will eat salads and vegetables each night.
Normal parenting stuff. No biggie. You'll figure it out. We all do. Eventually. And your girls won't starve to death.
I guess we will see how the interaction goes when I get the kids tonite. My friend that I was with last night had his W cheat on him 3 times. They got D'd. She took him to the cleaners and he has 2 daughters with her. Although one very well may not be his, but he loves her anyways. He refuses to even speak to her or anything with her when he picks up the kids. She has asked him a ton of times to forgive her and he won't talk to her. He just stays constantly mad at her. He has NUTS.
No Kev, HE IS NUTS...you think he is healthy? He's not emotionally or spiritually or psychologically "healthy". He is miserable. Has NO idea that forgiveness would free HIM AND HIS CHILDREN... He revels in his scars and keeps picking at the emotional scabs so he won't ever heal....what a lovely MANLY image for his children..he has compounded the tragedy of his wife's failings by making it ALL worse for everyone and THAT, is on HIM.
Somehow I don't believe that would better my situation as my W doesn't need me in anyway. You "don't believe" you would BETTER your sitch by always being angry at her??? WTH??? I cannot even comment on that statement...except for one word...DUH! I'm not sure it would matter to her if I just quit talking to her or seeing her. It certainly wouldn't be good for the kids. So I will keep doing what I am doing since she is finally talking to me.THAT'S WHY??? B/C SHE IS FINALLY TALKING TO YOU??? No other reasons???
oh yeah, your well being and God's plan and OH YEAH-the KIDS....
She really looked beautiful today. <sigh>
Kevin
Thank God you kept this thinking to yourself...it's a step in the right direction which is healthy thinking. You MUST get there. Maybe faking it til you make it will work. But just stay on track Kevin...hopefully you'll eventually have the healthy reasons for the new behaviors...for now, Just glad you are hiding the neediness and holding it together in front of her. Baby steps...
j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
