I had posted on your previous thread this morning but with this new system it went AWOL somewhere.
Don't worry too much about the text message. I know we walk around on tiptoe not wanting to make them angry, not wanting to upset this delicate balance. So he gets angry...he will recover. I would just let it rest now. I have stopped texting certain things over my fear that I will mistakenly text H something about him! It is a very Bridget Jones like moment you are going through and I am shaking my head because I have feared doing this very thing so often. But I think in time you wil laugh at it.
In my earlier post I was saying that it is very tempting to want to call OW and give her a few choice words but at the end of the day what does it achieve? For sure you will feel better but at what cost? I think calling and entering into a discussion with a woman who is involved with your H lets them know that they are in your head and I would never give them that satisfaction. I would never verify to her that she is in my mind to that extent and causing me unrest. No way!! I think that OM/OW secretly feel smug and have a sense of one upmanship as in I got something that is yours and you must feel so gutted. I think calling her will increase this sense of satisfaction. Don't let them think that they have you licked (even if in your worst moments you feel this way). This is just my two cents and not a mandate as to how you should act.
I think from reading your posts that you are above calling her. In any event the persons who must set the boundaries are our H/W. Yes, I hate the behaviour of OW/OM but they never promised us anything and there will always be temptation around for both Hs and Ws. Our spouses are the ones who have to be able to say no and they are the ones we should duke it out with or walk away from when they do not. This woman USED to be your friend. She is no friend now and I would not waste my time talking to her.
Having said all of this, I have seen a post in Success Stories where a W called OW and it did help to result in her H coming back home , so it can work. You are the best judge of your sitch.
