We just past the 6 week "anniversay" of where she moved out and 5.5 months since she filed for divorce.
This was a tough week. I think when she called two weeks ago on Friday crying about being sad I got myself more hopeful. Since then, she told our 7 year old that there was a possibility that she wasn't coming back. And this morning, she called all upset that my 7 year old told her that she had to move back in or we would lose the house. She asked why I told him that. I told her that it was the truth - he saw I was looking at houses and I told him that with mommy not living with us, I can not afford to keep the house, but we would pick one out together. She said why didn't I tell him that I was just moving. I told her because that wasn't the truth.
I said that I needed to plan for the fact that she isn't coming back. I told reminded her that she said it as recently as 2 weeks ago. She said she doesn't remember saying anything like that. I told her it was 2 fridays ago when she called and reminded me that she still hadn't changed her mind. She said that wasn't the same as not coming back. She said it was that she still hadn't changed her mind of needing time and space to think if a divorce is what she wants.
She then said, everyday she feels more strongly that it is, but as these types of communication issues continue, she really feels that things haven't changed. I told her that I'm not surprised as we aren't working on it. She says that "I can be an adult" and call her when I have something on my mind. I told her that I was trying to give her the time and space that she wanted so I'm confused of what she expects from me.
She then shifted into how I was starting to repeat myself so if there wasn't anything new, she was going to say goodbye. I told her that we could try and talk to tonite (don't know why I said that, nor do I know what I'm going to talk about).
Then I went to church.
I shouldn't have answered the call, but then she would have just been stewing the entire time about what my 7 year old said. I guess I shouldn't have said anything to him, or should have just said we were moving. Any thoughts?
Volleydog, on thread #9, before it got locked, posted "Sorry CIPA BUT from you last few posts it looks to me like you are using your kids to guilt your W into coming back...Bringing up the fact she didn't call your S back, the thing about the house. If your son is upset she didn't call him back let him tell her WITHOUT ANY pushing by you. Telling your son you have to move because of their Mom even if it's the truth makes her out to be the bad person and you don't want that, I hope."
I'm not sure if that's what I was trying to do. Maybe I'm starting to become resentful about this entire situation and I'm blaming her. I don't know.
Another thing that she said during the call right before church is that she the feeling that this is the right thing to do is getting stronger and stronger everyday. Not what I wanted to hear.
Me 41 WAW 36 S 3&7 M 10 yrs W files D 1/9/09 W moves out 4/18 Lost job 6/15 New job 7/27 Disc PA 8/10 (started Nov 2008!) Confronted 8/11 Admits PA & appologies for hurt 9/11 Lost Job 11/13
