total quarter life mlc

[job]

I can certainly understand why he was in a foul mood...if his mother had a talk w/him, he didn't appreciate it and may have thought you asked her to speak to him.

Sometimes it is best not to have others interfere in things such as this, especially when they are experiencing a crisis. They already are paranoid and think everyone is watching them and out to get them....I sure hope he doesn't throw this in your face every time he gets angry. These mlcers do not forget one thing in their lives, especially when they feel we have wronged them, no matter how small the mistake.

It's okay, you had to do what you needed to do about he health care forms. You certainly didn't go out there searching for him deliberately. I'm just sorry he was such a grouch.

All you can do is pray and ask God to help you and your family during this crisis. Ask God to find a way to point this woman in another direction and to leave your family in peace.

Please take care of yourself.

[peacetoday]

MY XH also left everything in the house except a Bagful of clothes
I boxed up about 2 large boxes of clothes and shoes and put them in garage
he left jackets and all his tools
he would sometimes take an item like his bicycle or his xbox
but mostly he just left it all
I have noticed he has bought some new clothes and those boxes still sit untouched in garage
Now it is 2 year and a few months post bomb
I see my XH in the crises
he is everything that he wasnt
he is in debt( protect your finances)
he is ignoring the credit card companies when they call
he alsmost broke our business ( I saved it ) and it is thriving now..we have paid almost everything off that he didnt
and Snodderly is right
Not to promote D
I waited and stood for 2 years..but im glad our D is over H filed after I told him too
and it was the right thing for us at the time it would have been the ONLY way I could have saved and kept our business
now I am free.. most all the struggle are in the past
peace

[mdoodles]

thanks. i certainly do not promote the divorce, and all i will even give him is a separation.

our finances are a mess, actually too late to even save. by coming home to open our business, he left a high paying job.

so now that the store isnt doing well and he has lost his focus, he is basically unemployed.

regarding his mother talking to him - really doesnt matter. he knows how she feels, she always talked to him about things, we used to be a very close family. he knows his mother and me are best of friends. we live next door to them.

i texted him last night (yeah, i know i shouldnt), saying i wanted him to come back home, that our son is looking to wait up for him (like usual) and that i wanted to also....he answered me with - not today.

what does not today mean?

i am hanging on to words. and i shouldnt.

i even find myself texting him at night, hoping the ow checks his phone, because she is known to do that.

[mdoodles]

its clear husband has crawled back into his hole (as i call it now), and left a path of destruction in his wake.

i had a terrible day yesterday, better today.

did my best not to text or call him, did not wait for him to show up.

so i took my son to the park today and when h called, i did not answer.

sure enough, he was wondering where i was, as if i should have known he would decide to come to the house after being at the store.

i did think about it, but since i did not hear from him, i was not waiting around for him.

i think i did the right thing.

i texted him when i got home that i missed his calls and he can call us at home if he wants. and he did. i did not speak.

later, i texted him to ask if he would be at his parents for dinner.

he said no.

then sent me a text that i should stop writing him.

so i answered with, get off the ego trip, i had a question.

honestly, how he can turn so angry at him on whim is so odd.

it feels weird that he is not here, yet again.

i wonder how this time will turn out.

will he really truly proceed with the divorce (separation).

do i just lay low and wait for dust to settle?

i just cant imagine not being intimate again, its all too weird to me.

[mdoodles]

ok so what do i do now?

if u check my posts under infidelity, since tuesday things have changed.

he has softened yet again, coming over as if nothing really happened, still acting like this is his house.

he is also being playful with me, following me around the house, making excuses to come into our bedroom when i am there.

flirting and having some intimate contact.

he has not slept at home.

talk about crisis, although im shocked how things have turned around in only a week.

how do i proceed?

i never wanted to end our marriage, but he must leave ow permanently for us to ever trul work out.

i do not mention her or our relationship at all right now, but things cannot stay this way.

[job]

Be yourself. If you are up to it, flirt back. Whatever you do, do not discuss the relationship w/him. Just be careful and keep your eyes and ears open. Generally when they are nice, they've been up to something or getting ready to slam us w/something. Hopefully your h isn't going to be one of those who does this.

What you are seeing is the flip side of his personality. They do this most of the time...anger, nasty, etc. one time and a few days later, when they think things have cooled down....pleasant, acting as if nothing is wrong. One thing...we don't forget has nuts they act.

Listen to what he tells you and sift through the conversation later on...you might be able to pick up on some things you weren't aware of until then.

[mdoodles]

thanks snodderly, i value your opinion.

i have kept conversation totally about the store and life in general, not about our r, not about ow, not about the fact that he left, not about his mentioning we are done.

its as if those things didnt occur.

i have been peppy and cheery.

and i totally flirt back and assert myself, because i know its something he likes, he likes that attention.

at the same time, i know i cant keep waiting for him, that things need to change now, because are selling our house and i do not know where i am going or if he is coming with me.

i think i have a few more weeks to wait things out and see what transpires.

i know he is very unhappy with the business we bought, he told me so a few minutes ago - he said he is very unhappy.

well that is clear!

[job]

You will need to begin packing at some point. There will come a time when you can broach the subject of moving and just say "H, I'm getting ready to start packing for the pending move, and would would like to know what you wish to keep or donate." It's not a direct question asking him if he's moving with your or not. I suspect he may very well tell you to donate most of the stuff he left behind.

Try to have a good weekend. Do something for yourself.

[mdoodles]

thanks snodderly.

i started boxing some of things we do not use in the kitchen.

i like to feel like im accomplishing something.

i find it hard to believe he will want to donate his stuff.

basically, the only thing he took with him, was himself. and i mean that.

he took himself, the clothes on his back, oh, and his cell phone.

he is so a man in crisis.

he sits in his office in our house, organizing his mail. not to take it with him, but to put it away in the drawer.

i think this is what makes it so hard to think about moving on, apart from him.

[job]

The suggestion of the donation is to open his door to see what he will tell you, not whether he will do it or not. Sometimes you have to go around the situation in order to get the most direct answer from them. Listen to what he says and if you get the opportunity, watch the body language. Actions always speak louder than words when it comes to someone in crisis.

He's a very lost soul right now and his actions with the mail, sitting, etc., all indicate that. All you can do is leave him alone and when he seeks you out, be a friend, not the wife at this point, just a friend.