Oh Sweetie, I am sorry you are here. Please, please, if you have any more thoughts of suicide, reach out to someone. Believe me, your h or ow are not worth you giving up your life. Ok, take some deep breaths. Next, and this is very important - I promise you, you will be ok. The point of dbing is to help yourself, to become the best Willow you can be, to change the things that need changing, for you. Sometimes when that happens, your marriage is saved. As far as the OW, try hard not to give her any headspace. She is not worth it. I can promise you that if you continue to scream, call him constantly, plead, or anything like that - you will push him further away. So, try very hard to stop those things. You can do it. You will feel like you are upside down on a rollercoaster - that is normal. Go and get the book, Divorce Remedy." Read it several times. Do not talk to your h about the ow. Do not call him, or text him. Let him contact you. When you do have contact, be in control. Let him see that you have gotten a hold of yourself and you will be ok. These first weeks will be very difficult. Try to stay busy, make sure you eat and get enough rest. Read the MLC resources on this forum. Post as often as you can. We will be here to help. THe weekends are usually quiet, but we will post when we can. No matter what happens with your marriage, you will come out of this stronger and smarter. Hang in there. You will be ok.
