Seperated

[LitlHopeAlwys]

These ups and downs are textbook for WAS. Just accept it.

Think about this - perhaps part of the statement "do you know how much I hate you" is "do you know how much I hate that you are now who I wanted all along, but you werent when I wanted it" - it is very possible this is just a variant of the very common WAS "why do you try now? why after I have given up do you become what I wanted all along?"

I suggest you keep working on yourself, try to detach a bit more - I know it is hard with S3 involved, but do the best you can to distance from W. No more offers of dinners, no more taking care of her. Take care of you and S3, become the man you want to be. Either she will start to notice and the anger will back down, or you will just become better and move on.

Your W still shows lots of positive signs - read other threads here, you will see lots of threads that recover Ms that have these fits of fury, they are par for the course.

Thanks xalelle. I have been reading a lot of the posts on this board.

I'm trying to take your advice and detach more from her. Been doing good at it since Friday - had to call her in regards to finances. But have not initiated any contact since.

Saturday afternoon out of now where she shows up at the house - all I could think is oh great what is she going to start about now. I pretty much just shrugged her off and played with S3. Asked her what she wanted - said she was just stopping by after doctor appointment(finally took someone's advice and went after being sick for 2 weeks). Saturday was a short mountain bike ride with my best friend, one of the few people I would trust with my life. As we were talking and riding he said that it was nice to see me being more of me and having fun and being happy like i used to be. The he tells me the W contacted him. They talked, all he would tell me is that she was asking him why am I doing all this now? He only answered her saying I don't know, but I am glad that he is, that he misses all the fun that we used to have together. I asked him from that point to try to avoid any conversation about me with her when she contacts you, don't care about them talking just leave my life out of it.

Since I was going out shortly, it forced her to leave - no arguments or discussions between us. It was nice to see S3, but I just feel on edge when she is around, and really don't like her just showing up.

Sunday as I was getting myself ready to go mountain biking - something I haven't done since getting married, my cell and house phone would not stop ringing - she called each phone 2-3 times. I just ignored the calls and let them go to messaging(none left). I did call her back when I got home to make sure everything was ok - no answer - just one call and left a message.

Guess I'll see what happens next.