All great points Ladies....such insights. Oh, and unless "the big one" comes and drops California off the face of the map, I'll still be here too and we can have a small DBers' convention of sorts. I don't know what to make of the trips/activities they're suddenly willing to do but I read about that A LOT here. Does reek more of the MLC stuff. So does the damage being done to the other R"s of his. I read somewhere that you know a person is wrong for you if they dont' bring out your best (b/c maybe they're insecure or threatened or somehow hold you back, etc.) so when I hear of these A's that actually damage the OTHER parts of the WAS's life, I have to think, "What a mistake!" It's NOT "the love of his life" at all. It's a disaster he's blind to. And you can't get his eyes to see that. Only he can. BACK TO YOU....
No, back to ME and MY questions.....Mtn, since you have now FORCED me to wake up and take some responsibility for my yard, which I was previously going to keep mentally nagging H about....then YOU have to give me a few tips...so tell me now, what "equipment" can I rent or buy or whatever, to get thru my Jumanji like jungle section of the yard.
If money were no object I'd hire large men with machetes but money IS an object. You are right also when you say instead of me staring/fuming at H's mess (he gets here in late June AND his mom is close to death, so I can't just wait for him to come home and then say, "GO DO YARD WORK!")
Can't I rent/buy one of those super duper mulching lawnmower things like what the bad corporations do in the Amazon when they want to stop the "reforestation"? Only smaller? I need a DIY class. Last week I had a stopped up toilet and YES I went out and bought "a snake" , and used the heck out of it and still, no dice. Totally useless as far as I could tell. SO I called NOT a plumber but a "rota rrooter" guy who ONLY unclogs- and he came out to the house ($75 on a Sunday) and in 5 minutes or less, had it working. I said, "What's the diff between your snake and mine?" HE said, (I SWEAR) "My snake is bigger and goes in farther, and I know what to do with it when it's in...." How many guys can say that with a straight face and mean every word??
Talk to you soon, thanks for the good point about taking some responsibility for stuff H did, right or wrong, it has been there a LONG time and I need to handle it now....darn, SO MUCH EASIER TO STARE AT THEIR MESS AND KEEP BLAMING...hmm, wait, no! It's NOT that easy. It'd be easiert to fix it myself and then brag about it....EXCELLENT POINTS!
Sorry about the sudden trips your guys are now taking. I believe at least once while there, that it crosses their mind that "Mtn/Kara would have liked this..." I really believe that. But the guilt of that thought will chase it out of the mind fast....but I KNOW if you've spoken of visiting a place before but "could not go" and NOW he can go...yes I think they remember that. With regret and shame, but most WAS's don't handle guilt of shame well at all. IF they did, we'd all approach things way differently.
I think I told you about that first trip to Italy I took our kids on( w/o H b/c he was in the tundra, and it was our 25th anniversary), you might start putting some money away (I mean like $20 a pop) but it does add up faster than you think. For every pizza NOT ordered, I'd put $25 away, and for a medical conf I didn't attend with h, or rent TWO hotel rooms b/c of bringing the kdis, I'd put in a chunk MORE $$...and in less than a year, I went with the kids to Florence and Rome and it was good for me and the kids in multiple ways...and yes, H noticed. But who cares? WE HAD A BLAST... And yeah, just a few weeks ago, ALL of us just went on a trip to Europe for d20's show--she was there a semester for theater and gave us THE perfect excuse for going, so why not keep on going and see some more? So then we went on to see other countries, and h's brother took care of the mil while we were away, and we ALL had a really good time. SOoooooo who knows what the future holds? I doubt that the trip we just took, would have happened that way if I had not taken the kids on the earlier trip and "proved" we didn't need h to come along for US to have fun...anything like that possible for you?
Regardless, Ladies, keep on doing what you are doing b/c you are doing so well and people need to see, that even if "things don't work out, (meaning reconciliation) that in the end, THINGS DO WORK OUT"...make sense?
(( j ))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
