Karen, are you reading my mind. I have been thinking that I would like to go on a date. I think it would be kinda fun and boy what a way to forget about H. But no one to date and I certainly am not over H. It would really kinda suck to bring someone else into my mess. Really unfair. I know that is the reason that I haven't dated anyone throughout this whole sitch with H. I've flirted with dating but not dated anyone.
Update... so last night one of H's friend has a kids party at our rental property. I stopped by to pick up $$ and to see what's going on there. H's friend told me that the H was on his way over. He showed up a few minutes later with his son. For the short time that I was there, I actually played a bit with H son. In fact I forced myself. Usually I act very distant the few times I've been around H and his son. This time I forced myself to work on that. I was there playing balloon sword fighting with him and the birthday girl. It was tons of fun for me actually since I love to be a big kid. But I think it was a good breakthrough for H and I. H even was asking his son if you like her. And told him to call me auntie vicky. Shocking! But I gotta say, cute kid. Looks like his mother, which is something I would have to work on getting over but cute as ever. I gotta say, H is in love with his son. They are really close. I even asked H how is it that he plans on leaving and "coming back home" - his words. The boy will be so hurt, I can see it. It's a shame the decisions adults make when kids are involved. H said that he knows that he will be hurt but he will have to tough it out and that he wouldn't be surprised if he wants to come live with him. But I know he's just saying that because custody of a child is a lot more complicated than he thinks.
Anyway, I'm going to try to get back to distancing myself and just livng my life. You guys were so right about not giving H a deadline. I am taking yours wise advice and not doing that. I really do want H to make this decision on his own without my forcing it. I think its something in our R that he needs to do. I will try to hold on a little while longer by galing and living my life and not making it all about H. Will see but I will try to have the talk with him though about keeping his word. It's something that's important to me. And will let him know that I have no intenttions of waiting forever or even mush longer. H has said that we've been apart way too long so I'm try to work with that. Thanks for your wisdom mdoodles, Pup, and Karen.
