Everything that I have read, be it DB DR or one of the other MANY self help books I have studied since H left me, says that "piecing" takes a LONG TIME!!! DR also says that if you want to change someone, do something different. If you have already shown love and done things to change yourself...and you are still married, you are doing something right. Now maybe GAL...more. Stand up for yourself more, and tell H (in a nice and productive way) what you want to do for your Anniversary...whether you spend it on the actual date or not...or pick a new date for it...like the date of getting back together...especially if the old one brings you too many bad painful memories. I am no DB coach or counselor...just throwing a few ideas out there... I was also thinking that you could do each day what my therapist tells me...and that is to look in the mirror each day and ask yourself "if my life continued as it is RIGHT NOW...how long would I be ok with it??" Some days the answer will be different...but it is a good way to check in with yourslef each day and make sure you aren't letting time pass by without DOING anything proactive, either for yourself or the Marriage. Good luck...I have faith you will be led in the right direction. hope you are doing ok!
