he was back, i think

[mdoodles]

i hear u, i do. i really do.

i just cant bring myself to remove this things. i am holding on to them, as if something will change, that if i hold on long enough, he will be back. again.

although i know that packing his things or not will not change anything.

maybe its all too new for me to do it.

or maybe i have to do it without thinking. maybe my friends have to come and do it for me.

i held on so so long to my fairytale outcome that isnt happening. but somewhere in my head i think if i hold on yet again, things will change.

im too smart for this, and i know it. im a college educated girl graduated with a 3.7 from a terrific school, and it means nothing when it comes to intelligence of the heart.