Hey Kenn, Well, you were M for how many years??? I would assume it would take a lot of time. One of the most difficult steps, in my opinion.
Don't beat yourself up too bad. You can kick yourself forever, if you want. Or you can learn, understand & grow. That has been a tough lesson that I learned. But I keep reminding myself that.
Even if you did lose your control, I think your W needed to hear it. You told her how you felt. Sometimes communication, even when it's bad, can be good for YOU!
Dispite all of this I hope you are having a good weekend!
Me39, XH45 Kids 3 dogs, 2 cats Divorced 6/4/09 Tricky thing is not how you live, but how you live with yourself. (POTC)