he was back, i think

[lola485]

Doodles, you've gotten some very good advice from some very wise people. We were all in the same place emotionally you find yourself in now. It seems insurmountable, but it's not. God, when this all started coming down on me, I broke down to my 2 co-workers (I work in an odd environment, the areas are very segregated, so it's just me and them in our building), I broke down in my boss's office...not even my immediate supervisor, but HER boss!!! Can you imagine me telling my boss's boss that my husband is leaving me??? This all began not long after my step daughter's death. Since my H and I work at the same place, everyone knew the incredible emotional strain we were and have been under. I'm telling you this stuff because I want you to understand you are not alone in how you're feeling...we've all been there. But things will get better. I think initially it just takes some time to be able to come to grips with it. Like Bluerain said...let yourself cry. It's normal. You're not a robot...you are feeling this pain deeply. It will ebb and flow. You'll feel like you're doing ok, then it will wash over you. Let it. It's natural. I did read on here ages ago to cry all you want, just don't do it in front of him! Don't beg, don't plead, stop texting him!! Honey, no matter what he's telling you...he's not fine. Don't for a second think he's skipping away without a scratch. It's called Karma, and my belief in it keeps me going!!!

And I so agree about what exactly is the OW "winning". My h's OW thinks she's winning the fun rocker who meets her at a bar and has a few hours of fun. What she's getting is the shell of the man I knew. That was an escape for him. The real life day to day living with him is dealing with his grief and depression, and quite frankly I don't think she can do it.