he was back, i think

[mdoodles]

thanks. u are right. and i know it. this is just going to take time.

we have been down this road before, i guess that is why it is so hard to accept. last year at this time, i was ok, i was moving on.

and it all changed. and we went back to thinking about working it out and i got sucked back in so fast.

this time i think too much damage has been done.

i know i tried everything. i know i did.

and i know i had to find him last week and i had to text her and i had to talk to her when she called.

it wouldnt have changed anything. i could not have him back here and running around on me. not after this much time, not after opening the store, not after his word.

so i have to deal with it.

my thing, well my friend's thing to do for me, was to check the ow facebook. she started posting his picture for her profile when she started losing it 6 months ago.

but we stopped looking. it cant hurt me if im not looking.

i wish i never had to see him again. i really wish that. but i know i have to, because of my son.

im done crying for right now, im looking around at what i can start packing.