It just amazes me how up and down I am about all this DB stuff-first I`m really sure I want to save the M, then I`m just as sure I don`t. A few days later I`m back on the DB track again.
Just very unsure about everything I suppose.
Getting to the new therapist really helped. She challenged me"You are too hard" she said "You think to much and are too much in your head. Try to come from the heart"
I`m not even sure if she`s right or if I even know what she means.
Anyway, since Wednesday(therapist day) I`m feeling more hopeful of things working out eventually. The therapist is helping me back into LRT mode( unwittingly on her part as I don`t believe she`s familiar with MWD). I`m stepping right back from H.
Which is just as well because he told his Mom about us `having problems` this week. He cried on the the phone apparently. and she`s livid with him. Doesn`t want him to come home until he sorts it out. I know all that from a surprise phone call from BIL.Just as I know his Mum doesn`t know all the gory details-she`d kill H for sure if she knew.
And just as i know her knowing will make things worse for us. She`s rejecting H at a time when he BADLY needs someone to be close to him. He`s hurting. And he`ll probably blame ME for his Mom`s rejection of him.
He`s like a wounded lion prowling about the place and ready to snap at anyone.
This is a tough station. So glad I`m seeing the therapist again next Weds.
