Thanks girls!! Michelle, K, Mish, Lisa, Kat, you've been here all along and its lovely that you are wishing me well. I thikn we are going to be fine. I would sincerely doubt we would split up again anytime over the next few years, beyond that, who knows, I cant 'see' that far ahead, but so far, all is going wonderfully well.
Kat, that was the book K originally sent me, but we thikn it got stolen . Thanks for the reminder.. he seems pretty relaxed and not at all bothered by any of my actions/faces.. yesterday I said a meek sorry for something and again, he took my face in his hands and said "Please, please stop saying sorry. You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for at all. Please dont apologise anymore" and kissed me.
But, its like neither of us have any desire to rake over the past, and to be honest I sort of cant be bothered! It will happen in time, just like Jody said, later on, when we are more settled and its 'safe' to.
Sometimes little thoughts enter my head.. like in bed, we are constantly entwined sleeping and on waking.. and I thikn, so, did you wrap your arms and legs around Helen like this and kiss her face? And I want to ask..then I know I cant (?) and then I think, I doubt it, so whats the point in upsetting him by asking?
His friend put his foot in it last night.. he said, oh I came to this pub before once.. with bf and.. and then looked at me nervously and said, oh, um, it was a work thing. So lots of his friends met Helen. I wonder how he feels about this? I worry how I compare in company a little, but at least I know everyone is thrilled we are back together.. but my main worry is still s*x. I worry how I compare there!
I really am feeling quite insecure about this and he is still a bit reticent. We both seem to have a bit of a problem in this area and it feels like the hardest thing of all to broach with him.
I want to be able to post something useful, some answers, but quite honestly, its just like a new R, all exciting and lots of touching (constant!) and kissing. We werent even like this the first time around, he was so familiar to me when we got together. But now, after such a long break and perhaps the not seeing him much at all for 6 months.. its just like we have rediscovered each other. It really is like a honeymoon period. But, we havent talked about anything, not our old R, our split, why he then got close to me again but ditched me for Helen. Nothing about why he behaved the way he did. Sorry guys!
