WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 9

[confusedinpa]

This morning looks like it will be a beautiful day. I hope my 7 year old is over his stomach bug. The boys and I are planning on going bowling this morning and catch Monsters vs Aliens at the matinee. Last nite, my friend reminded me they were having a picnic at 4. My goal today is to enjoy my day with the boys without mentioning my wife.

She never called my son back last nite. I don't know what she was doing or who she was doing it with, but need to remind myself its none of my business. She filed for divorce and moved out. I'm not giving up but that's the reality. The part that hurts me the most is that on Weds nite, she complains that I never have the boys call her. So I did last nite and she wasn't in. Its almost like she was trying to get me to call as she knew she wasn't going to be in to try to hurt me. It did, but also my 7 year old (my 3 year old didn't understand)

I wound up calling my friend (who is having the picnic) last nite to keep myself from calling my wife. They are the retired couple that were both divorced and found each other. So they are both the "give up and move" on mindset. She said my wife on Sat (during the boy's Bday party at my house) acted like a guest, not like she belonged in the house. She thought it was odd but had respected my wishes of no one talking to her about it

Of course my friend kept pressing that I need to just let go and move on. There was no hope and holding on will just make it harder for the boys and I. I should just sell the house and stop hoping for hope. Part of me is afraid she is righ. The other part doesn't believe her. The only one who knows if there is hope, besides my wife, is God.

I'm really sad this morning again but my goal is to be strong in front of my kids. I'm not going to have my boys call my wife unless they ask (they never have yet). If she wants to say goodnite to them, she can call (like I do if she doesn't call)

I will need to pick myself up and "Live, laugh and love like there is no tomorrow"

Any encouragement will be appreciated